In news that proves the Apocalypse may not be such a bad thing as our species has surely earned some kind of fiery reckoning, people are actually concerned over a ‘scar’ on Kylie Jenner’s bum.
The commotion began when the 19-year-old posted a picture on Instagram of her in her underwear, unfortunately it seems even Kylie’s fans have gotten bored of her frankly naff posts and started chatting about a red ‘scar’ on her bum.
That’s right the Kardashians have saturated the web with so many pictures of themselves that even their fans struggle to take an interest in them anymore.
Anyway Kylie’s concerned fans immediately began asking questions of the mysterious mark, with most of them guessing that it was a scar left over from butt-enhancing surgery.
Well earning my masters degree so I can write hundreds of Kardashian articles has finally come in handy (Take that Dad) and we can confirm that it’s not a cosmetic scar, it’s in fact a tattoo which reads ‘before sanity’.
The fact I know that makes me sad…
Other internet sleuths used their Sherlock Holmes-style investigative skills to deduce that Kylie had photoshopped the picture in display of time wasting so impressive that were it an Olympic sport these people wouldn’t just take the gold they’d have to invent a platinum medal to award them.
So to recap, not a scar, it’s a tattoo but more significantly a lot of people need a new hobby.
More of a concept than a journalist, Tom Percival was forged in the bowels of Salford University from which he emerged grasping a Masters in journalism.
Since then his rise has been described by himself as ‘meteoric’ rising to the esteemed rank of Social Editor at UNILAD as well as working at the BBC, Manchester Evening News, and ITV.
He credits his success to three core techniques, name repetition, personality mirroring, and never breaking off a handshake.