Selma Blair has quite the dinner party story that involves biting a number of celebrities.
Sure, it's easy to get starstruck, especially when you encounter stars such as Seth MacFarlan, Sienna Miller, and Kate Moss.
While most people would probably react by biting their tongue rather than biting another, Selma Blair isn't like most people.
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In her newly released memoir, Mean Baby, Blair recounts how she quite literally bit some of Hollywood's brightest stars.
Never short of a sense of humour, Blair breezes through her biting days, from their humble beginnings at the age of three, when she bit her sister Lizzie on the back - taking out a chunk of flesh in the process - all the way to getting Kate Moss to bite her back.
Yep, if you were expecting a 'Charlie Bit My Finger' kind of story, you've come to the wrong place.
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After her childhood biting escapades, Blair recounted how, in 2004, she was out with Scarlett Johansson and friends when she was introduced to Family Guy's MacFarlane, as reported by Page Six.
"I was starstruck," Blair recounts. We mean, who wouldn't be?
However, Blair had a strange way of dealing with the feeling, saying: "What do I do in public situations where I admire someone, but feel as if I don’t bring anything to the party? I bit him on the hand. ‘Whoa!’ he yelled. ‘That really hurt.’ It wasn’t a disaster; I didn’t break skin. But I soon hated myself."
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Next up was Sienna Miller, whom she met in 2006 at Chateau Marmont.
While Blair said of Miller: "I couldn‘t begrudge her for any part she was winning over me," she could bite her fellow actor.
And, that's exactly what she did.
"So, I grabbed her arm and bit it, playfully, as if it were an apple. Even as I held her forearm in my mouth I was aghast at myself. I thought, What have I gotten myself into? Or her? This is horrible behavior."
Miller, being rightfully confused, asked Blair: "You bit me, didn’t you? You really did."
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However, according to Blair, the 21 Bridges actor didn't 'shame' her and that is why, to Blair, she will 'forever be the belle of the ball.'
Last, but not least, was Moss who proved that the age-old 'you bite mean and I'll bite you back' phrase rings true.
Blair and Moss were in a friend's hotel room, taking Polaroids when Blair bit the super model's finger.
Moss laughed, but Blair did it again and the iconic model responded by hitting Blair in the back, then 'crunched right into' her thumb.
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Blair, realising how much it actually hurts to get bitten apologised like a 'shamed nursery school kid'.
So there you have it and, just in case you didn't get told as a kid, don't bite people. We're looking at you, Armie Hammer.
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