Here’s What It’s Like To Take One Of The Weirdest Drugs In The World

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Up until this very moment in time I never wondered what Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas would’ve been like if Raoul Duke and Dr. Gonzo did nothing but salvia.¬†

Now I know exactly what it would be like – boring as fuck. 204 pages of Hunter S. Thompson rambling on about how he once drove to Vegas thinking he was a paperclip, or an eye lash, or a bag of chips.

That is, if these salvia revelations are anything to go by.

Legal to buy in the UK up until May 2016, despite still being legal to possess, Salvia divinorum is a Mexican plant, with leaves that contain psychoactive chemicals that produce hallucinations Рsometimes enjoyable, sometimes just weird as fuck.

Posting to Reddit, the beholder of all bizarre experiences, one enthusiastic internet user sought to find out what a salvia trip is really like.

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Here’s some of our favourites:

‘Became a bag of chips’

Became a bag of chips being held by someone in my imagination/memory of the past, walking down the street.

And then I was an atom on the tip of someone’s finger while they wiggled them. Spent a good amount of time trying to jump off.

Then I realized that there was something that I was before all of this, but couldn’t remember what it was. And I was “told” that I was never going to leave where I was, and this was an endless cycle. I took my sweater off to try and end it.

Then I came back to my reality and didn’t know who my wife was. Until my memories dropped in from above and filed themselves appropriately.

‘Became the tip of an eyelash’

I became the tip of my eyelash and got this overwhelming feeling that my life wasn’t what I thought it was. That I wasn’t actually a person at all, that I was just a tiny part of a real person actually living their life, and my life was just on the tip of the eyelash.

I also was “told” that these were secrets that people don’t know and I wouldn’t be able to stop tripping until I had forgot everything I had learned.

The time machine

Short and terrifying. I was convinced a yellow school bus had arrived to take me back to re-do life from the 5th grade. The absolute best way to keep kids from doing salvia is to let them try it.

Got wood?

Fucking. Horrifying. I smoked it at a friends house on his back deck. Myself and about six of my closest friends. I take huuuuuge hits and all of a sudden I’m completely disconnected from reality. I’m no longer at my friends house, I am in a completely different three dimensional space.

Now the terrifying part. So what my trip was was that I was now a plank of wood (like the wood from the deck I was standing on. That definitely became what my trip was), finding out for the first time that I’m not human but a plank of wood with a face, connected to all my friends who were also planks of wood.

The horrifying part was how real it felt. It was that this was my existence now. I was a piece of wood. All my friends were pieces of wood. Everyone that I knew were pieces of wood. When I came to I was drooling on myself and I could see how much I scared all my friends. For the following 20 minutes or so I didn’t speak to anyone and didn’t trust them. I couldn’t work out in my head what had just happened. It may not seem all that crazy reading this….but I have never felt fear the way I felt during this trip. It was pure terror.

I will NEVER smoke that again knowing that what happened is a possibility.

Did fence stuff

Was looking through an iron bar fence at the skyline across the river. By the time I exhaled the second hit, the city has completely disappeared and also I became a fence. Did weird fence stuff for an indeterminate amount of time before feeling like a fence-person, then a person-fence, and finally just a normal person near a fence.

The horse in the room

My mom’s trip is a better story than my own. She has never been a partier or drug user whatsoever. One time I had some friends over and we convinced her to try it. Right after she exhales, she picks up an ashtray and threatens to throw it at the horse in the room…the horse being my friend Greg. She told him to quit galloping on her new carpet but he was sitting down.

So there you have it folks – if you want to become an inanimate object, maybe a chair, or a plank of wood, or if you want to visualise horses in your living room then salvia might be for you.

As for me, I think I’ll stick to lager.