I know what you’re thinking. What sort of look can take me from sofa to club with comfort and style?
Or perhaps even: How can I hit the dance-floor wearing my comfy slippers while still seducing all the revellers with a cheeky, leg-lengthening heel?
Crocs have got you covered my friend. Say goodbye to carrying your heels on the way to Maccys at 4am, screaming because the road is too prickly for your bare, swollen feet.
Indeed, you can now exude effortless grace and decorum in your very own high-heeled crocs; a picture of practicality. No distorted, peeling toes for you madame.
And before you scoff at the thought of pairing your new Boohoo frock with the shoes your mother swears cured her bunions, let me tell you high-heeled crocs are quite the ‘in thing.’
Classy brand Balenciaga have elevated humble crocs to an object of high fashion, embellishing their own take with various fun charms and trinkets and parading them down the catwalk.
According to Balenciaga:
Balenciaga casts the classic Croc slipper in a punk-ish new light for SS18.
In a whimsical bubblegum-pink hue, the front is decorated with a selection of irreverent pop-culture charms including logo plaques, avocados, flags, and pug faces to create an effect like a fridge of souvenir magnets.
Take advantage of the high platform sole to lift an ankle-skimming dress.
You can pick up a pair of these clunky must-haves for £645. After all, who needs to live in a heated, food-stocked home when you stroll around in shoes this damn comfy?
Of course, for those of us more au fait with Primark than Prada, you can snap this look up like a true crocodile through trusty Amazon.
The online marketplace is bang on trend, selling Crocs Women’s Cyprus V Heel W Heeled Shoes for just £42.05 + £4.20 UK Delivery. You can apparently even get these bad boys in brown.
According to the glowing Amazon description:
The Cyprus just keeps getting better. This version has an elegant strap design with a little more top-of-foot coverage and attractive metal hardware around the collar.
You’ll appreciate the subtle elastic on the straps for a more forgiving fit. And we know you’ll like the Croslite foam footbed for all of the cushion and comfort it delivers.
Of course, the rebellious vibe of the crocs renaissance has rocked the status quo somewhat.
We are now divided into those who love high-heeled crocs and those who would rather fry and eat them with marmite than actually wear them.
One particularly worried person even likened their creation to the ill-fated construction of Jurassic Park.
One tired person sighed:
There are so many sad things going on in the world right now. We didn’t need to add high heel crocs to the list.
However, another fashionista proudly announced:
Okay everyone brace yourself. I found high heel crocs in my size and on sale.
— StilettoNinja (@bonheurchasse) July 12, 2018
— Lori Moore (@TheLoMo) July 12, 2018
— Lauren (@Lauren_Odonnel) July 5, 2013
Okay everyone brace yourself. I found high heel crocs in my size and on sale. pic.twitter.com/rFGSzKXg5W
— Madison (@madisonanna33) June 11, 2017
Clack clack clack go my high heel crocs
— sleeves: cow (@flippancakeflop) July 12, 2018
say what you want, i always thought i could rock a pair of high heel crocs
— G E N E R A L S A M (@SeneralGam123) May 20, 2018
Now, pairing your high-heeled crocs with socks is of course optional. However, I would always strongly advise ‘yes’ if you want to channel the full crocs vision.
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