A company is selling a pair of jeans for £100, which you might think is pretty expensive, but these aren’t just ordinary jeans. These jeans apparently stop your farts smelling.
If you’ve ever been caught in public for being the one who ‘dealt it’, these jeans are for you.
Clothing company Shreddies, not to be confused with the cereal, are selling the product which will allow you to eat beans that are good for your heart without worrying over the consequences of the fart.
I should probably stop with the fart rhymes now – after all, the one who did the rhyme did the crime.
The jeans are created with a hidden carbon lining which works to stop any smells filtering out into accusing noses, though I’d probably avoid bragging about the name of them – ‘Ladies Flatulence Jeans’ kind of gives the game away.
The Shreddies website explains:
Shreddies flatulence filtering jeans feature a carbon lining which eliminates odours. The carbon lining gives increased protection and more freedom to enter social situations.
When worn with Shreddies flatulence filtering underwear it offers a double layer of protection, giving increased confidence that all odours are filtered.
With the amount of fart-smell-eliminating products Shreddies sell, you could probably start to live a fully-odour-free life. As well as jeans, the website sells underwear and pyjamas for both men and women for 24-hour protection from flatulence.
I’d recommend saving £80 and opting for a pair of the £19 fart-free briefs instead of the jeans – I imagine the extra proximity to the source would increase the effectiveness of the carbon layer.
The website even has a gifts section, so if you know someone who is a culprit for smelliness, consider their Christmas present sorted.
To stop any unfortunate smells infiltrating your nose while eating at the table, you can even get your hands on a ‘flatulence filtering cushion’, which will absorb the smell of your fart and stop it spreading to anyone trying to enjoy their meal.
The website explains the cushion can be transported to ensure the odourless zone follows you wherever you go:
Our flatulence filtering cushion can be used at home, work or on the go, thanks to it’s lightweight and discreet design.
This cushion was designed to give you the added reassurance you’re looking for.
Again, as discreet as the cushion might be, I think the underwear would be even more subtle.
People love Shreddies’ creations, but I think some customers are a little too reliant on the products.
One review on their website reads:
Fabulous idea, a great quality product with great styling, this could save many a marriage! A much needed product, fantastic innovation.
I mean, if your farts are so bad that the person who happily said they’d spend the rest of their life with you is willing to leave, I’m not sure even the jeans could help.
Maybe consider visiting a doctor, if things get that bad.
Get your hands on a pair of odour-preventing jeans here, and never offend anyone’s nose again!
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Emily Brown first began delivering important news stories aged just 13, when she launched her career with a paper round. She graduated with a BA Hons in English Language in the Media from Lancaster University, and went on to become a freelance writer and blogger. Emily contributed to The Sunday Times Travel Magazine and Student Problems before becoming a journalist at UNILAD, where she works on breaking news as well as longer form features.