Picture the scene: you’re with your girlfriend/wife/mistress and things are getting a little bit heated. She goes away for a moment and comes back dressed in absolutely nothing but a bow asking you to ‘unwrap me’.
I guess it sounds rather hot and that’s exactly what ASOS thinks too as they’re shipping off the bows for $35 (£16) a piece which seems a bit steep for a relatively purposeless piece of easy access fabric.
I mean what can you do with it besides unwrap it? It’s not really the sort of thing you can wear on a night out, or to the office, or on a trip to your local Tesco – so isn’t $35 a bit much?
According to the Daily Mail, the bow was designed by British fashion brand, Bluebella, and the bow simply crosses over at the back, like a ribbon on a present, and is tied at the front over the breasts – leaving very little to the imagination at all.
The ribbon also swoops up between the buttocks like a painful g-string vagina hammock but Bluebella insists that it’s ‘silky satin’.
Bluebella also claims that the ribbon is ‘oversized’ – does that ribbon look very oversized to you?
Personally, although the idea of unwrapping your significant other does sound rather attractive, the thought of spending $35 on it does not – especially considering the ribbon resembles something from an x-rated sumo fight.
I’ll stick to wrapping myself up in a thin curtain instead…
Joseph Loftus is a Gold Standard NCTJ journalist with four years experience working for international and regional press.
As well as working for UNILAD and LADbible, Joseph has worked as Liverpool Correspondent for Unsigned & Independent Magazine, as well as stints with the Liverpool Echo and Warrington Guardian.