A guy from Detroit woke up and stepped outside his front door for a morning smoke when he found himself falling in mid-air, in a pile of mud where his porch should’ve been.
Thieves usually go for the TV or car, but I’ve never heard of a porch being stolen – and neither had 22-year-old Antonio Silva, until he was lying on the floor, about two metres below his door.
Antonio, who lives in Southwest Detroit, posted the ridiculous photo of his porchless front door saying: ‘I opened my door and fell – you can’t have sh*t in Detroit’:
Speaking to UNILAD, Antonio said:
I’ve been living at that house for two months but I’m no longer there now due to my missing porch, which was stolen two weekends ago on May 25.
It all came into realisation that it was gone when I woke up in the morning to smoke. I went to open the back door and fell before I could even get a chance to light my blunt.
I took one step into mid-air and found myself laying in the dirt where my porch once used to be.
I’m not sure who took it but I suspect it was my crazy ex-girlfriend that stole my porch because I threw a house party that Friday night and she wasn’t invited.
I never felt so confused with my life laying in the dirt as I was trying to tell my self ‘is this even possible?’. I got a good laugh and bruise out of it!
Sadly Antonio has not yet found out who stole the porch and he hasn’t been living there for a while because, well, how can you get in without the porch?
We can only hope the thief got their comeuppance, like the parcel thief who snapped her leg when running away from the house she stole from.
In the clip, caught on CCTV, you see her apparent accomplice come and help her get away.
Antonio continued telling UNILAD:
I figured I’d share it with Facebook to see what everyone’s reaction would be. I didn’t think it would go viral – turns out everyone thought it was hilarious, I got everyone in my DM even news reporters telling me how entertaining my porch post is to them.
My friends and family were shocked they didn’t believe me until they saw the post. I’ve had a few things come up missing before but never my porch. Who does that?
The reason why I think it could be my ex is because she stalks me and tries to fight every girl I talk to. I’m sure she knew there were females in my house that night.
But who knows really? It could have been anybody. When I asked her she replied by saying ‘YOU SOUND DUMB, WHO THE F*CK WOULD STEAL A PORCH’.
Antonio posted the video to Facebook and it received over 30.7k shares and 6.1k comments, at the time of writing, with people tagging their friends in disbelief.
I mean, it’s original. We’ll give the thief that.