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London Guy Asks Woman What She’d Do If She Was A Man, Gets Brutally Honest Answer

by : Julia Banim on : 03 Apr 2020 07:13
Guy asks girlGuy asks girlbennobrown/Instagram/benoobrown/Twitter

Sometimes it’s difficult to know exactly what to say to someone on a dating app; to figure out how to push past the awkward conversations and find out more about a complete stranger.

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But when you take a risk, sometimes it can pay off and leave you knowing a little more about the lives of those behind the profile pics.

This was certainly the case for Ben from Tooting in London, who, having grown tired of the usual openers, decided to dig a little deeper with one of his Hinge matches.

Man Jailed For One-Night Stand With Tinder DateMan Jailed For One-Night Stand With Tinder DateHinge

Speaking with UNILAD, Ben, 25, said:

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I use Hinge as a dating app and try to ask interesting questions to find out what girls are really like.

Fed up of the usual, ‘How are you? What have you been up to?’, I thought I would be interested to find out what girls would do if they were a man for the day.

It was that question Ben decided to ask Charlotte, a girl he’d been chatting with for a while, what she would do if she had the chance to be a bloke for one full day – and her answers took him by surprise.

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Unleashing an impassioned response that many, many women will be able to relate to all too well, Charlotte replied:

What an opportunity. Spend 4/5 minutes getting ready, maybe not even wear a shirt cos f*ck it. P*ss whenever (or maybe wherever) for the novelty of standing up.

Heavily come onto a load of men’s rights activists to make them uncomfortable. Definitely catcall them too.

Keep scratching my balls in public. Sit everywhere with my legs spread wide open and not be judged. Ask someone to kick me in the balls so I know for a fact period pains are worse.

Do a very mediocre day’s work and get more praise and money for it. F*ck multiple people and not feel bad after. Or get slut shamed.

End the day celebrating my privilege on a night out and not think twice about walking home after.

Concluding her answer, Charlotte jokingly wrote, ‘Bet you wish you’d never asked’. However, the unexpectedly frank exchange gave Ben plenty to think about.

Ben told UNILAD:

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I was not expecting this – I thought it would be something about complimenting lots of girls and being really nice to girls etc.

Considering we have not been talking very long I was shocked about most of the comments! I found a lot of these things I have never thought about, and maybe you take for granted as a man.

It has certainly made me think about how different my life may be if was living as a woman. It made me think that do some girls wish they were born a man?!

Although huge strides have indeed been made over the years, there are still so many instances in life where men and women are subjected to very different treatment and prejudices.

According to 2019 gender pay gap figures, a quarter of businesses and public sector bodies have a pay gap of more than 20% in favour of men, while nearly eight out of 10 companies were found to pay men more.

This disappointing imbalance sadly extends to a woman’s out-of-office life, with women who enjoy sex with multiple partners often encountering criticism for the very same behaviours a man might be praised for.

This particular sort of sexism was grimly apparent in this winter’s Love Island, after 21-year-old contestant Rebecca was relentlessly insulted over Twitter for having slept with 30 men. Some of her male counterparts reported far higher numbers, but didn’t receive the same public condemnation.

Love IslandLove IslandITV

The aspect of Charlotte’s answer that struck me most was the depressingly relatable dream of walking home after a night out without a care in the world.

According to a sobering YouGov poll from 2019, almost half of women reported they ‘always’ or ‘often’ felt unsafe when walking alone at night (46%), compared with just 13% of men.

In fact, female participants reported feeling unsafe more often than male participants across each of the 15 seemingly ordinary scenarios posited within this poll, from walking down an alleyway to hopping in a taxi.

SlutWalkSlutWalkPA
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Sometimes it’s easy to get overwhelmed by stark figures like this, and to forget the individual stories and frustrations simmering just below the surface.

From listening to Charlotte and taking in her perspective, Ben has gained a valuable insight into the day-to-day realities of being a woman in quite a powerful and emotive way.

And he has quite a few ideas of his own should he ever find himself sprinkled with some Freaky Friday magic and waking up in a female body.

Ben told UNILAD:

I would have one of those chats with girls in the bathroom where they all say nice things to each other. I would try and flirt my way to get a free drink at a bar and then avoid their advances.

I would want to orgasm, as it lasts a lot longer than it does for men. I would like to see friends and see if they treat me differently… and play with my boobs.

FeminismFeminismPA

We all have our very own different lived experiences to deal with, shaped by our genders, backgrounds, race and a whole range of other complicated factors.

Sometimes it can be difficult to imagine life in somebody else’s body, with their thoughts and fears and everyday challenges.

However, exchanges such as this can and do offer little windows of understanding; opening up opportunities for more meaningful connections.

If you have a story you want to tell, send it to UNILAD via [email protected]

Julia Banim

Jules studied English Literature with Creative Writing at Lancaster University before earning her masters in International Relations at Leiden University in The Netherlands (Hoi!). She then trained as a journalist through News Associates in Manchester. Jules has previously worked as a mental health blogger, copywriter and freelancer for various publications.

Topics: Featured, Ben, Charlotte, hinge, man, woman

Credits

@benoobrown/Twitter and 2 others
  1. @benoobrown/Twitter

    @benoobrown/Twitter

  2. UK Gov: Gender pay gap in the UK : 2019

    Figure 1: The gender pay gap among full-time employees was 8.9% in 2019

  3. YouGov

    One in three women consciously take steps to avoid being sexually assaulted