Madonna’s Daughter Shows Off Armpit Hair And The Internet Cannot Handle It
Madonna is used to making headlines for her fashion, style and personal grooming choices – it sort of comes with the territory of being a fashion icon, controversial or not.
Yet the Instagram jury and keyboard warriors have focussed their attention on the musician’s 21-year-old daughter after Madge welcomed in the New Year surrounded by family and uploaded the obligatory 2018 picture post, alongside Lourdes.
…Apparently, Instagram needs yet another lesson in biology because people simply cannot understand why a woman would have armpit hair.
Madonna uploaded the sweet family portrait, captioning the photograph, ‘We are Ready For You 2018’ with a lot of emojis and an enigmatic hashtag.
However, it seems some picture-sharing platform users are not ready for 2018 and their opinions on the female form and perpetuation of damaging beauty standards, are stuck in the dark ages…
Sometime between female emancipation and President Donald Trump boasting about ‘pussy-grabbing’, a social historian could guesstimate.
Although Lourdes’ family and friends in attendance at the New Year’s Eve party seemed rightly unphased, in the cold light of day, Instagram observers have shown their true colours – and it’s ugly.
One commentator questioned Lourdes’ choice, exclaiming ‘ew’, before asking ‘hair pits y [sic]’ with all the grammatical accuracy and flair of a sexist wrecking ball.
Well, because of evoluntionary biology, that’s why.
Linda Chobbs helpfully suggested Lourdes should choose another part of her anatomy to preen and pluck, writing ‘But Why? Don’t feel like shaving? Go for hairy legs or bikini instead of armpits. Always looks more fresh without hair in armpits.’
One Instagrammer who, according to their handle, is @makingbrazilgreatagain said:
Having hairy pits it’s not a feminist thing, it’s f*cking disgusting, you can see that most of the people complaining about it are women.
In fact, pubic hair is totally natural and their choice to do with a woman’s body what she so pleases, is actually a pillar of feminism and its mission for gender equality.
Underarm hair has stuck around for centuries on the human form, male and female, primarily acting to reduce friction between the upper and lower arm, cover exposed parts of the body with vital arteries and facilitate the release of sex pheromones.
On the other hand, shaving, should you chose to do so, can cause irritation, folliculitis, rashes, inflammation and even infections from dirty razors.
Meanwhile, Gigi Hadid – widely regarded as one of the most beautiful women in the world – has also been attacked and trolled after appearing in the LOVE Magazine advent calendar with unshaven underarms.
Showing off her fit physique and boxing moves, the 22-year-old American supermodel’s Lycra two-piece activewear, emblazoned with her own name, revealed underarm hair.
You can watch the impressive photo shoot, themed ‘Stay Strong’, below:
Cue: Shock and horror as a backward and scarily squeamish portion of society, who must’ve joined forces with Madonna’s Instagram followers, lose their collective mind.
Thankfully, many of the commentators came out to support Gigi’s decision to not spend a ridiculous amount of money on feminine grooming products – marked up because they’re pink – or spend her valuable time shaving the various nooks and crevices societal beauty standards dictate should be hair-free on women.
Likewise, some of Madonna’s followers supported Lourdes, with one writing:
I do think it’s nice, but even if I didn’t I wouldn’t tell someone to change their appearance because of my preferences.
Another sensible soul put it well when she reacted to Hadid’s LOVE offering:
For all of you women commenting rude words and hating on this: You are missing the main point of this campaign.
While you’re thinking ‘shame on Gigi for not shaving her armpits and letting me see them on Instagram (omg I won’t sleep tonite)’ you should really feel ashamed of yourself for showing us yet again that unity and unconditional love and support between each other is far from happening until there are these social boundaries that really exist nowhere but in your minds.
When, oh, when will people stop being freaked out by women who do what they want with their bodies?
Shaved or unshaven.
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