Going to the toilet at work requires you to strike a careful balance. How long do you take before people start wondering what you’re doing in there? Did you leave a smell capable of emptying a room? And worst of all, fellow colleagues silently judging you on all this from the next cubicle…
On a work lunch, Joe Grabinski went to the toilet with phone and cola in hand. It may strike you as strange to take a drink to the toilet, and Joe acknowledges that, especially after what happened to him on the fateful morning of May 10, 2018.
There was a loud noise, brown liquid everywhere, including on the guy’s shoes in the next cubicle, followed by silence and hiding from his peers in the hope they weren’t waiting outside to see who made the mess.
Speaking to UNILAD, Joe, who run the Twitter account @AmznMovieRevws, said:
I dropped a full cup of fountain soda from chest height in a bathroom stall. I haven’t confirmed the exact size of the drink but it appeared to be 48 ounces.
The cup hit the ground with a bang and seemed to explode as the liquid shot in every direction, including on the shoes and pants of the poor gentleman in the stall next to me.
Many people ask me what I was doing with a drink in the bathroom stall and this has been a question I have asked myself many times in the aftermath and the only answer I can give is ‘I didn’t want the ice to melt while I was in the restroom’.
After my epic fumble I immediately froze – I was mortified. I instantly heard uninhibited, uproarious laughter from two guys outside at the sink. I sat there frozen. I felt like John Krazinski in The Quiet Place or Solid Snake in Metal Gear Solid. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe. I work with a group of highly-competent, well-dressed, business professionals. I simply couldn’t risk being discovered.
I proceeded to sit there for an extended period of time. I had to wait it out. What if they were waiting outside of the restroom? What if someone was so curious that they hid covertly outside the restroom, wanting to identify me?
During this time I made the decision to document the experience on my personal Twitter. It felt there would be anonymity sharing this with ‘strangers on the internet.’ This was probably a mistake on my part.
Thankfully the person on the other side of the stall door was also quiet. They were gracious and simply left without a fuss. I have been heavily criticized by hundreds of individuals on Twitter via replies and quote tweets.
me: why did you bring a soda into the bathroom
Joe: I didn't want the ice to melt
— BenDavid Grabinski (@bdgrabinski) May 10, 2018
Joe said that in hindsight he is ‘more embarrassed by the fact I had a drink with me in the stall than the fact it got all over the guy next to me’.
Commenters were quick to rib Joe for all of the events that took place in that cubicle, with some asking ‘What kind of peasant brings food or drinks in the restroom?’ and ‘Why didn’t you apologize?’.
One person even went far enough to say:
Did it not occur to you to apologize? Don’t go home for Mother’s Day. She either died when you were little, did a terrible job raising you, or tried her best but you suffered some kind of brain injury. Stay home. In fact do us all a favour & stay home forever.
Joe understandably felt this ‘was a bit harsh’.
Hey Joe. Bought a cocktail. Left it alone on the bar. It was still upright and ready to drink when I got back from the restroom. pic.twitter.com/XMxjtUoY2C
— Austin (@chadaustin71) May 11, 2018
My favourite comment was a guy trying to lead by example who wrote:
Hey Joe. Bought a cocktail. Left it alone on the bar. It was still upright and ready to drink when I got back from the restroom.
Joe said he is ‘still processing all of this’ and has ‘decided I will not be bringing drinks in the restroom anymore’ and finally, he said, ‘If the guy on the other side of the stall is reading this, I just want to say “I’m sorry.”‘
I wonder if Joe is known as ‘the toilet explosion guy’ now? Because he should be.
The moral of the story, if you were ever unsure of this anyway, is: Never bring a drink to the toilet with you.