Men Who Like Being Little Spoon Make Better Partners

by : Francesca Donovan on : 10 May 2018 14:02
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In the cutlery drawer of your relationship, at some point, everyone wants to hunker down into the foetal position and be the Little Spoon.

Science says hugging is good for you and progressive social politics have spurned the antiquities of gender norms.


We’re essentially operating a millennial free-for-all love in, the likes of which hasn’t been seen since the 60s when your mum went to Woodstock.


But still, of the 20 per cent of UK couples who do spoon, guys who like to be Little Spoon aren’t quick to confess this so-called blight on their masculinity, with 55 per cent of young males admitting they are anxious about getting laughed at if they are emotionally open.

So pervasive are the shackles of supposed masculinity they actually go against natural human behaviours.


In fact, science has actually shown men who like to be Little Spooned from time to time make much better partners.


Steve McKeown, Psychoanalyst and founder of The McKeown Clinic told UNILAD:

Men that prefer to be the little spoon are more likely to be submissive, sensitive, pleasing and in touch with their feminine side.

A male that is in touch with his sensitive side can be more compassionate and definitely a contrast from the traditional male.

Sensitivity is a very important trait as relationships tend to be complicated and can be problematic in today stress driven society.


Apparently, it also increases emotional intelligence, according to McKeown:

So a male who is in touch with his feelings tends to be more emotionally intelligent than those who are not, which is a major plus point in any relationship as communication is key.

It is also considered men who are sensitive spend much more time with a woman they adore and love, and it’s acceptable to expect a lot more compromise.


McKeown also states it’s an issue of ‘dominance and protection’ which can refer back to ‘the woman being in charge in the relationship; in other words she wears the trousers’.

He added:

The spoon position demonstrates a dynamic in which one partner takes a protective stance over the other. It a vulnerable position that says ‘I trust you’.

This type of protection has once been a stereotype of male dominance over the women but not anymore. Times have changed as women are now somewhat freer to assert their dominance in all aspects of life.

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So, in the name of Little Spooning permissiveness, UNILAD asked a couple of guys who enjoy a cuddle why they are pro-little spoons for all.

George, 22, told UNILAD he found being Little Spoon ‘comforting’.


Stew, 26, had a very descriptive take on the bedroom activity, joking:

Every man wants to be a super hero… but when you have a naked woman as your cape you jump right up the food chain of The Avengers.

At the end of the day, men like to be spooned for the same reason as women.

Pushing aside the patriarchal norms of society everyone wants to be safe and nothing feels more secure than a good old hug.


Sam, 25, jumped in, picking up the descriptive comparisons:

I’d say that for the modern gent being the Little Spoon is much like a sit down wee. It’s one of those things that isn’t normally done, but is becoming more and more socially acceptable – particularly as a treat.

I think the stereotypical outdated masculine image is slowly being eroded and more men are becoming comfortable with the idea that sometimes even guys need their head petted and to be told they are pretty.


Sam, who described himself as ‘shorter than the average male’ also explained that being Big Spoon isn’t always a walk in the park.

He continued:

I’m actually just slightly shorter than the average male adult, so Big Spooning often means a mouth full of hair and sometimes difficulty breathing.

I think most of the time it’s not a matter of asking to be little spoon, you just sort of manoeuvre yourself into the sweet spot. It’s a lot like Ross from Friends and his ‘hug and roll’ technique.

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Far from being a matter of the heart, spooning is a human right that should be enjoyed however you please.

Forking jokes aside, a recent report titled Love, Lust and Loneliness, conducted by Status Online and the Family Stability Network (Fastn), paints a picture of the obstacles today’s young men navigate in their quest for happiness and revealed a lot of fears and worries.


A concerning 60 per cent worry about being alone, 61 per cent are scared they’ll be a disappointment in a relationship.

A further 55 per cent are anxious they’ll be laughed at if they are emotionally open.

The participants discuss what they feel is important in relationships below:

PSA: Don your partners like giant human scarves and enjoy the warm fuzzies safe in the knowledge that spooning is an activity suitable for all.

Share this with a man who loves to be cuddled, and let’s get this stupid myth of enforced Big Spoon masculinity thrown out onto the scrapheap like a rusty old spoon.

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Francesca Donovan

A former emo kid who talks too much about 8Chan meme culture, the Kardashian Klan, and how her smartphone is probably killing her. Francesca is a Cardiff University Journalism Masters grad who has done words for BBC, ELLE, The Debrief, DAZED, an art magazine you've never heard of and a feminist zine which never went to print.

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