That most British of traditions – the Victorian freak show – never actually ended. Now we simply know it as The Jeremy Kyle Show. Instead of seeing the Elephant Man, babies with two heads, and women with beards, you’re more likely to watch aghast as face-tattooed gentlemen in England footy kits fight over 23-stone Stacey while grunting monosyllables in regional accents.
At the head of all the bedlam is Jezza himself, a crazed circus master whose whole schtick seems to be giving unruly guests intense stare downs and being capable of going from fake angry to fake helpful, back to fake angry again, all in under a minute. Some guests though, even rumoured golf ball-licker and qualification-less charlatan Jezza can’t contain.
White Couple Who Have A Black Baby
There are no real requirements to go on the show, provided you’re a bit gormless and shouty. This is definitely the case judging by the white couple who can’t seem to determine which of their cheating ways caused them to have a mixed race child – even a very, very, very basic knowledge human biology isn’t of the show’s requirements.
Lunatic Nuts Guy Who’s Been Sleeping With His Wife On The Nose
Featuring a guest appearance from David Mitchell in his Mark from Peep Show costume playing the guy who gets nutted, this clip show what happens when you sleep with a neighbourhood headcase’s wife, or beat him at darts. TV gold!
Guy Throws An Envelope At Jezza’s Head
In fairness to this lad, what he lacks in being able to speak, understanding what an envelope is or not having chlamydia, he more than makes up for with his ability to accurately throw envelopes at smarmy talk show hosts’ heads.
Guy Tries To Attack Jezza After Taking Too Much Of His Shit
The weird thing about Jeremy Kyle is that like him or loathe him, you’d still very much like to punch him, which is exactly what this guy tried to do when TV pillock Jezza called him a shit father.
Angry Lad Puts His Foot Through A Glass Door
And was probably picturing Jeremy’s gurning face while he did it…
Guest Appearance From One Of Ming The Merciless’s Henchmen
Probably the most genuinely freak show-esque guests/victims they’ve ever had on Jeremy Kyle is this guy who’s into body modification and actually seems like a sound dude on account of him not knocking both his brothers’ wives up at once.
Guy Who Couldn’t Spell The Word ‘Father’
In fairness though there are probably testers hanging around at the studio entrance asking people to spell complex words like ‘the’.
Most Obnoxious Lad In The History Of Jeremy Kyle
In this lad’s own head he’s probably thinking that he’s the most no-fuck’s given Thug Lyf guest that Jeremy has ever had, in reality though he just sounds like a mouthy child who constantly starts fights because he’s terrified of how thick he is. Funny though.
Mad Dog Deon And His Mental Face Tattoo
Probably the most shocking guest on Jeremy Kyle ever because, a) he has a crazy face tattoo, b) he refers to himself as Mag Dog, c) he’s actually got a girlfriend, and d) he might be cheating…