If you thought that Michael Bay would have learnt some rather basic filmmaking skills by now then, you were wrong.
Part of me wishes that I could just write ‘well, that was shit’ for this review of Transformers: The Last Knight as that is the main remark the film left me with; what a pile of shit!
And when I say shit, I really mean shit.
It’s impossible to write something intelligent or critical about a film like this, a film which kills your brain cells one by one because it is just so damn dull and stupid.
Transformers: The Last Knight just isn’t worth the words so expect this review to be short, unlike the movie which, at 2 hours 30 minutes, was unbearably long.
A lot of good films leave you with burning questions that make you think and Transformers is no different.
Questions like; what did the great Anthony Hopkins do which allowed Bay to blackmail him into appearing in this trash?
Why does Bay feel the need to insert a Megan Fox clone into the film?
And why is her bra on show?
Why does Bay feel the need to continually over sexualise all of his female characters?
When will the ‘secret history of the Transformers’ finally be revealed because we’re five films in and I still don’t have a clue?
Did we really need that 14-year-old character who also, of course, looks like a young Megan Fox?
Why do characters appear then suddenly disappear then reappear hours later?
Is this film meant to be funny?
What on earth is happening?
Why is this film so, so, so long?
Why are there FIVE films in this awful franchise?
And finally, why won’t it just stop?
With 14, yes you read that right, 14, Transformers films currently in development it does not look like it will be stopping any time soon.
Pray for us, please.
Emily Murray is a journalist at UNILAD. She graduated from the University of Leeds with a BA in English Literature and History before studying for a Masters in Journalism at the University of Salford. Emily has previously worked for the BBC, ITV and Trinity Mirror. When Emily isn’t writing about topics including mental health and entertainment, you can find her at the cinema which is her second home.