Warning: This is the most British argument you will ever see.
Having a real jobsworth of a neighbour can leave a really sour taste when you get home at the end of the day.
Especially when they have a penchant for leaving passive aggressive notes scribbled in capital letters on your front door.
Musician Keli Thomson, 24, was just living her life, gigging in Aberdeen when her home in Edinburgh was ambushed by an angry neighbour who left a note complaining about some rubbish that had been left in her own garden.
The neighbour’s note read:
Move your rubbish from the garden, we’ve taken photos and video recorded the mess. If all this mess isn’t removed over the weekend, all evidence will be passed onto Edinburgh Council.
Painting Rockets singer Keli had to endure some emergency works in her bathroom after her floor began sinking in, and so the bathroom trash had to be temporarily stored in the garden.
The neighbour then crept down and stuck a note on Keli’s door saying they planned on calling council because of the ‘eyesore’.
Here’s footage of the rubbish in question:
It was after the incredibly passive aggressive note, that a war of words ensued.
Never has black biro expressed such anger and sarcasm as in the notes that Keli exchanged with her ever-stubborn neighbour.
Keli wrote back to the neighbour:
Dear angry Sir/Madame, Thank you for making me aware of the rubbish in my garden! I had no idea, but your passive aggressive threatening note made me notice – Horay!
Just ti inform you, by bathroom floor was sinking so got done in an emergency with no skip – bummer for you, right?
I’m so glad you wrote to be honest, because now I know that someone else is concerned about the welfare of the garden (which no one else has helped with in the six years I’ve lived here).
Speaking to UNILAD, Keli explained how the passive aggressive note war came about:
I tried to use the “kill them with kindness” method heavily doused in sarcasm, offering them options to solve it maturely rather than through passive aggressive notes! Also, at the same time, being slightly cheeky so they could see how ridiculous they were being.
I wrote my reply very quickly in five minutes, put them in sandwich bags because it was raining, and stuck them up on my door before I got picked up for my next gig that evening.
They were clearly angry so I just kept winding them up to hopefully make them realise it was all a bit ridiculous.
It got to the point where people were leaving notes on the note…as Keli called it, ‘noteception’.
Keli said her landlord had started renovations before she’d returned home because the floor was so badly damaged, before they then went off to Italy on holiday.
Due to the rush job there was no time for a skip, so the garden, which she said no one uses, was the only option.
Keli proceeded to reply to the threatening notes with funny quips, thanking the anonymous stranger for their huge concern over her garden, and also putting in requests to forward on to the council while they were at it.
Explaining what the most recent movements have been, Keli said:
It’s my garden on privately owned property. We organised the rubbish so that we can fit a mini skip in to the end of the garden.
But then obviously the threats kept coming and kept going back and forward.
I still have no idea who it is but me and the other people in my building don’t believe it is someone from one of the flats in the building.
They sent the last note. I’m looking at writing one tonight and getting someone to put it up in my absence!
They informed me they got the fire service and council involved now and will be around to visit
Though she hasn’t pinpointed the coward just yet, Keli said that ‘there are a few grumpy neighbours that aren’t a fan of [her] having to learn wedding band songs’, so she suspects one of them.
I hope the neighbour finally shows some actual spunk and reveal themselves.
The anonymous notes are just pathetic.