A blogger went on a mission to empower the women of Twitter to make the first move on the guys they fancied.
Dami Olonisakin, 27, is a sex and relationships blogger who triggered an enormous thread of anxiety-inducing conversations between men and their female admirers.
The whirlwind Twitter thread takes you on a journey through blossoming romance, the beginning of beautiful relationships, but also brutal, raw heartbreak when the guys responded with blunt rejection.
Ladies ask that guy you fancy out on a date and tweet me a screen shot of his response. 💁🏾
— Oloni (@Oloni) October 26, 2017
Speaking to UNILAD, Oloni said:
So I started it, because I wanted to show women it’s OK to make the first move. It’s very possible for men to be shy, so showing an interest can go a very long way.
I think the responses have been good. It seems as though, it’s made a lot more women confident when it comes to talking to the opposite sex.
As for the brutal ones, i don’t see it as huge deal! It’s just shows you the worst someone can say is ‘no’ .. and if that does turn out to be the case, don’t let it discourage you.. instead move on swiftly. At least you know!
This was without a doubt Oloni’s favourite reponse…
That guy was really jumping to conclusions.
The purpose of challenges like this is to help women take dating into their own hands instead of waiting around. Doing it on a public platform such as twitter also helps boost the confidence of other men or women to ‘shoot their shot’.
It is tradition that men would make he first move, but according to a survey by dating site OkCupid, women who make the first move increase their chances of dating more attractive men. The study found that when a woman contacts a man first, 30 percent of those messages turn into a conversation. Women are 2.5 times more likely to get a response than men are when they initiate contact.
— keshef mir (@keshefmir) October 26, 2017
Dating apps such as Bumble have also come about recently, turning gender expectations in dating on their head, and encouraging a better balance between who makes the first move.
A lot of them were extremely brutal…
The ‘Lool’ really hurts…
Can it get much worse than ‘I wanted your friend’?
Just when I thought we had hit rock bottom…he’s getting married next week!
— Mocha ☕ (@ada__OG) October 26, 2017
A simple ‘no’ would have sufficed…
As advice for when you are asked out, Oloni said that they should ‘only say yes, if they’re truly interested because sometimes women go out on dates out of sympathy or not knowing how to say ‘no’, leading that person on’.
As Oloni points out, not all men are extroverted and socially confident enough to waltz up to someone and ask them out, so imagine all of the shy guys women could be missing out on by playing by the archaic rules.
Oloni said she mostly takes her own advice, but slips up every now and then as we all do. Following the success of the #datechallenge, she will be holding another challenge on November 1, so keep your eyes peeled.
To be fair, there were a lot of great responses. What have you got to lose?