You Can Buy Pills That Make Your Farts Smell Like Roses And Chocolate
Everyone has a different sense of humour – some jokes are universal, while others get lost in translation.
Farts fall firmly in the former. They are hilarious in every language because they go beyond language. While the builders of the Tower of Babel may have struggled to understand each other’s words, they sure as hell understood each other’s flatulence.
However, it’s also a truth universally acknowledged that though the sound of farting is basically funny in any situation, the stench which can emanate certainly isn’t, and can literally sour a highly amusing moment.
To combat this, a French inventor called Christian Poincheval has invented a pill which he claims will make your farts smell like different scents. From violets to roses, chocolate to ginger, Poincheval is putting the ‘scent’ back in ‘stench’, the ‘ha’ back in ‘sharted’.
The ‘100 per cent natural’ pills are sold by the company Lutin Malin, whose website says the origin of the fart pill wafted into existence when Poincheval said to himself ‘it would be more appropriate to be able to fart without bothering the neighbours!’
…we were at table with friends after a copious meal when we nearly asphyxiated ourselves with our smelly farts. The gas wasn’t that great for our table neighbours. So something had to be done about this. You can disguise the sound of a fart but not the stench…
So Poincheval, an inventor in his own right, set about concocting a pill that would transform the tang of one’s trumps.
Keen to understand the science behind the stank, I got in touch with Lutin Malin, who told UNILAD:
The Fart Pill was developed by a French inventor, Christian Poincheval, starting in 2004. Poincheval had already won many awards at the French inventor expo “Concours Lepine” including printable toilet paper for story reading.
After launching the toilet paper and having a hearty meal at a restaurant he and his friends were stifled by the stench of their farts – as were their table neighbours. This is when the idea came to find a solution to quell the stink and if possible, with regular kitchen herbs.
Explaining more about how the pills work, they continued:
The initial trials using mint or estrogen did not give the desired results so Poincheval turned to natural dietary supplement ingredients. Many ingredients were tested and in the end it was a special mix providing different benefits that gave the desired effect.
Coupled with a natural aroma component, the Rose and Violet (lilac) Fart Pills were launched. In January 2015 a special Saint Valentine’s Day ginger pill was released followed by lilly of the valley for May Day in 2019.
Of course, taking one pill won’t make you reek of roses right away, as the company explained:
Taken daily without interruption the Fart Pill will progressively aromatise the digestive tract thus relieving stench and even giving it a floral fragrance. The precise dosage depends on the individual’s condition, dietary habits and the desired effect. It is recommended to take 2 to 6 pills per day spread out at meal times with a glass of water.
Dubious? Naturally. But Lutin Malin and Poincheval have gotten wind of happy, satisfied customers thanks to their pills.
As they told UNILAD:
The latest we heard back was from a Chinese girl who has an extreme condition and was thrilled to be able to go out with her friends again without the fear of embarrassment. Due to the intimacy of the subject we don’t get a lot of written feedback. We actually stopped bothering our repeat customers for this a while ago. It’s all very well shipping totally discretely but then invading someone’s privacy is not perceived very well.
As well as Poincheval’s ‘readable toilet paper’, which is already available, the company say they’ve got another product on the go which is also about personal hygiene – though they’re keeping the details on that hush-hush for now.
In the meantime, we’ve got the fart pills to keep us going, and hopefully transform the aroma of our bottom burps for the better. You can purchase them here, for yourself or for a friend, or even your dog.
Happy pooting, people.
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