It’s that time of year again, when everyone gets stressed out of their minds about buying shit they don’t need for people they can’t stand, in the process blowing a fair chunk of wedge all because it’s tradition. Instead of doing that it’s quite easy to have a great Christmas without spending a small fortune and here’s some tips on how.
Don’t Spend Money In Overpriced Nightclubs, Throw A Gaff Party
Going out over Christmas and New Year’s is basically you willingly giving some hawkish club promoter extra money so you can be a human sardine surrounded by twats in novelty jumpers. Save yourself the hassle by getting your mates around, banging on the decks and doing a much cheaper, more fun gaff party. Best thing is the neighbours aren’t likely to call the police cause it’s Christmas and they’re drunk too.
Avoid Spending Lots Of Money On Solo Gadgets For Your Family, Buy A Board Game And All Get Drunk As Fuck Playing It
This Christmas, instead of everyone glaring dumbly into their new iPhone8,267’s, why not just buy a board game, play some Christmas music and pour some drinks?
Make Presents And Give Them Any Old Shoddy Bit Of Crap – They Can’t Be Annoyed ‘Cause ‘The Thought Is What Counts’
Making your own presents doesn’t just have to be for Neil Buchanen and people on Pinterest, you can do it too, and it’ll save you a fortune while also making you look like a thoughtful and creative hero.
Become A Jehovah’s Witness For The Duration, They Don’t Celebrate Christmas
You might have to briefly become a door to door religion salesman but the amount of money you’ll save will more than make up for being repeatedly told to fuck off by strangers.
Make Your Own Decorations
If you throw yourself into the creative spirit of doing Xmas on the cheap then anything can work as decorations. Those old cans of festive red-and-white-coloured Budweiser in the bin, those leaves of holly off the front of your neighbour’s gaff, some candles you thieved from the prayer stand in the church… anything can be used to give your flat that festive cheer.
Brew Your Own Christmas Booze
Start Your Own Cheap Christmas Traditions Like Getting Pissed And Watching Die Hard
Nothing says Christmas like a bloodied and smirking John McClane cracking wise while being in the wrong place at the wrong time so sit back, crack open a drink and enjoy.
Get Everyone To Agree To Just Buy One Gift For Christmas Morning Then Wait Til The Boxing Day Sales To Buy Shit Massively Reduced
The vast majority of the presents you’ve bought your loved ones will instantly half in value once it hits 12am on December 26 so why not just wait til then to buy any large presents and content yourself with having a party on Christmas Day?
Get A Cheap Flight To Somewhere Sunny Until The Whole Thing Blows Over
Or you could just throw a couple of medium sized Toblerone’s under the tree, book a cheap flight to Ibiza and fuck off there until the whole things blows over. Merry Christmas!