Celebrities have shared some rather shocking stories on The Graham Norton Show but Bryan Cranston has topped them all.
The Breaking Bad actor appeared on the chat show last night and shared a particularly filthy but brilliant story.
Talking about how he’s been married to his wife Robin Dearden for 29 years, Bryan described his honeymoon to Europe.
The couple decided to spend five weeks in the continent and decided they wanted ‘this honeymoon to be really spectacular’.
We went to our travel agent to talk about this. We were in our mid-30’s when we got married and we knew we wanted to start a family.
So this was like it. So we spent five weeks in Europe. We started in Switzerland, we were going to rent a car and go to Italy.
But the travel agent said instead of driving around the Alps, up and over, you take a train.
It’s a flat bed car, it takes three cars bumper to bumper and you go through the Alps.
You can watch Bryan’s appearance on the show here:
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However, as the travel agent implied this wasn’t just any train.
Bryan continued to explain:
‘By the way’, he said wink, wink, ‘there are three tunnels’.
‘The first tunnel is about five minutes. The second tunnel is about eight to 10 minutes.
The third tunnel is 50 minutes long.
If you are a honeymooner’, and I said, ‘say no more’.
With some reluctance, his wife agreed to the plan and things were going rather smoothly.
So we are on the train, there’s a van in front of us with an Italian family and behind us there’s a car with two couples in it.
So we start going and it’s a massive experience, emotionally and physically. The wind is whipping through and its pitch black. You can’t see anything.
And we came out of the tunnel into the station and I say ‘that’s one’.
We go up, we start again and we come out of it and that’s two.
However, of course this was never going to end well as Bryan quickly discovered on the last tunnel.
Start the third tunnel, wait until it’s absolutely pitch dark, here we go!
It’s a small rental with the stick shift, and I’m like trying to get my trousers off.
She’s trying to lower her chair. You cannot see anything, so it’s all by feel.
One thing I learned is never be completely nude when transferring one seat over the stick shift.
Keep your trousers on and do it afterwards… So we are inflagrante, as they say, I don’t know where to put my hands.
Now what’s happening is that my eyes are adjusting.
What happened is we were coming to a station! Boom! Sunlight!
My wife says those three words to me that every husband wants to hear: ‘Get off me!’
Although the Italian men loved what they saw, Bryan said the women weren’t exactly best pleased.
But more importantly, the actor started to question whether the travel agent had lied, playing a joke on them making up the ‘fact’ about the tunnel being 50 minutes long and even today, he’s not found out.
As Bryan admitted, it was more like 15…
Emily Murray is a journalist at UNILAD. She graduated from the University of Leeds with a BA in English Literature and History before studying for a Masters in Journalism at the University of Salford. Emily has previously worked for the BBC, ITV and Trinity Mirror. When Emily isn’t writing about topics including mental health and entertainment, you can find her at the cinema which is her second home.