I’m reliably informed that everyone’s talking about Declan Donnelly’s package after last night’s episode of I’m a Celeb, which is weird because I’m part of everybody and I’m not.
It must be because I didn’t watch I’m a Celeb, I decided to finally start watching Luther instead. Have you seen it? It’s brilliant, you’d love it, and there’s a new series coming to the Beeb this New Year which is exciting.
Speaking of New Year do you have any plans? I think I’m just going to stay home have a few drinks and try not to think about Declan Donnelly’s penis… oh no I’ve finally started talking about it! I guess the headline was right.
Anyway apparently (I already told you I was finishing the first series of Luther) Dec started joking and messing about with co-host Holly Willoughby but keen-eyed viewers couldn’t help but notice how tight his trousers were.
In fact, his trousers were so tight you could see John Thomas through his trousers! Sort of…
Cripes! You wouldn’t get that in an episode of Luther! What you would get is thrills, chills and excitement as John Luther (Idris Elba) solves another intriguing case by any means necessary.
I’m a Celeb fans took to Twitter to discuss Dec’s thingy:
What’s going on with Dec’s Trousers 🤔 pic.twitter.com/exJAGOEKuT
— Sandra Hart (@SandraH82999265) December 8, 2018
— Amy (@amyridsdalee) December 8, 2018
What on earth is going with Dec’s trousers?? How tight are they round his crotch??? @imacelebrity
— Julie M Palmer (@Editor_Julie) December 8, 2018
— Alice (@alicegrace_xx) December 8, 2018
— Ms Food Blogger 🍸 (@MsFoodBlogger) December 8, 2018
Meanwhile, no one tweeted about Luther last night, presumably because those who were watching it were so gripped they put down their phones and just went along with the mystery.
One mystery that people think they’ve already solved is who’s going to win I’m a Celeb this year. Apparently, Harry Redknapp, the football manager, is the current favourite to be crowned King of the Jungle.
If he’s coronated and the jungle bishops accept him as ‘King’ then Harry will join such luminaries as Vicky from Geordie Shore, former Iceland spokesperson Kerry Katona and someone from Made in Chelsea, or TOWIE, or The Real Housewives of Who Gives A F*ck.
No doubt everyone will be talking about Harry’s win tomorrow. Again I won’t, I’ve got plans. Doctor Who’s on in the evening, then I’ll get tea on for me and the missus, before we sit down to the second series of Luther.
I can’t wait to see where they go with things after that shocking ending, who’d have thought that’s how things would go down with poor Zoe, Ian and Mark.
If you don’t want to watch Luther and fancy watching I’m a Celeb instead you can watch it at 9pm tonight on ITV. Meanwhile, all four series of the amazing Luther are available on Netflix and BBC iPlayer, with a fifth series set to debut in the New Year.
If you have a story you want to tell send it to UNILAD via [email protected]
More of a concept than a journalist, Tom Percival was forged in the bowels of Salford University from which he emerged grasping a Masters in journalism.
Since then his rise has been described by himself as ‘meteoric’ rising to the esteemed rank of Social Editor at UNILAD as well as working at the BBC, Manchester Evening News, and ITV.
He credits his success to three core techniques, name repetition, personality mirroring, and never breaking off a handshake.