If you’re a person who enjoys going to the cinema, you probably also have certain things you like to do while there to maximise your experience and enjoyment.
Perhaps you’ll buy some popcorn and a drink, or some nachos or ice cream even. Maybe you’ll get there early so you can bag your favourite spot and enjoy the trailer, or fill up an entire row with all your mates.
Mostly, these things aim to heighten your experience and fulfil your cinema-going desires.
Some people, on the other hand, are a bit stricter when it comes to watching films. Especially when it comes to watching one of the most hyped films ever.
In a bid to maximise their own, unique experience while watching the upcoming Avengers: Endgame, one person has shared a very particular set of rules for their friends to abide by if they watch the film together.
Though it must be said, finding a friend to go with you after laying down these rules may be easier said than done. Which is probably a good thing for the rule-maker – just go on your own and keep your rules to yourself?
Sharing the rules on Twitter, the die-hard Avengers fan wrote:
Rules if you’re watching Avengers: Endgame with me:
– We will be seated at least 15 minutes before the movie starts.
– Don’t ask me anything because you should’ve watched recaps like a smart person.
– There will be no unnecessary talking or chewing during the movie. If you talk and I miss something important, I will hit you with my shoe.
– You will cry, laugh and gasp at appropriate times.
– Take it easy with your drink because there will be no bathroom breaks.
– At the end of the movie, we will sit and wait until the credits have finished.
– After we leave the theatre, we will walk to our cars and ponder the events that unfolded in silence.
– We will discuss our thoughts and feelings about the movie on the following day when I’m no longer an emotional wreck.
Rules if you’re watching Avengers: Endgame with me: pic.twitter.com/aOF43L0FVX
— kessa (@museandblues) April 4, 2019
I can see where they’re coming from to be honest. It can be annoying when other people in the cinema are eating loudly or talking. But to impose this on your friends? Maybe just go alone the first time, then go again with your mates so there’s no pressure…
Thankfully, it does read like the rule-maker is being (at least slightly) tongue-in-cheek about it. I’m sure they’re not going to make you piss yourself if you’re sitting next to them and need the toilet.
But yeah, no talking during the movie please.
Avengers: Endgame will be released in the UK on April 25 and in the US on April 26.
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Charlie Cocksedge is a journalist at UNILAD. He graduated from the University of Manchester with an MA in Creative Writing, where he learnt how to write in the third person, before getting his NCTJ. His work has also appeared in such places as The Guardian, PN Review and the bin.