Harry Potter’s Evanna Lynch Shares How She Overcame ‘Urge To Die’ During Eating Disorder Battle
Harry Potter star Evanna Lynch has spoken about her past battle with an eating disorder and overcoming the ‘urge to die’.
The actor, who played Luna Lovegood throughout the series, has been opening up about her recovery from an eating disorder around the release of her memoir, The Opposite of Butterfly Hunting.
In an earlier Instagram post discussing the book, she described it as ‘somewhere between a memoir and self-help book’, explaining she wrote it ‘to be real and honest and dark with people so I can truly connect with other human beings’.
An extract shared with The Irish Times reads, ‘When I first heard about anorexia, I never planned for it to become my thing. I didn’t connect to it or dwell on it or decide to try it out for a while.
‘All I’d known was that I was empty, unremarkable, unexceptional at everything, and that it would be hard to find love, friends, work, a place in the world at all, if I didn’t find something by which to define myself – and then I’d found it.
‘I think to me, being unremarkable was the same thing as being unlovable, and if I didn’t have love, I wouldn’t want to live, and if I didn’t want to live, I’d eventually die. And I really wanted to find a way to fight that urge to die. People see eating disorders as slow self-destruction, but the intention is quite the opposite. It’s a stab at life, at asserting oneself.’
In a new interview with E! News, the 30-year-old spoke about her experience with such personal writing. ‘I really wanted to write this book for years, just because I’ve been talking about these topics, these themes of parts of my life for a long time, but not really getting my message across, not really getting the complexity and nuance of the story across,’ she said.
‘You want to be honest, you know? I don’t want to just say, ‘Everything’s cool now, happier, I’ve fixed all these weird issues.’ So, I had to find a way that I could be honest about where I’m at, but be positive and leave people with a warm, inspired feeling.’
If you’ve been affected by any of the issues in this article and would like to speak with someone in confidence, call the BEAT Eating Disorders helpline on 0808 801 0677. Helplines are open 365 days a year from 9am–8pm during the week, and 4pm–8pm on weekends and bank holidays. Alternatively, you can try the one-to-one webchat
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