It’s a question which has plagued humanity since the invention of a ‘zombie’ entered the English language: What would you do in a zombie apocalypse?
The zombies are coming and you haven’t had much chance to think about it beforehand? What do you do!?
The most realistic answer is, most probably, die or more specifically – try erratically to get away, end up getting caught, before being painfully and barbarically eaten alive and resurfacing as a sort of leper, mouldy, decaying picture of your former self.
But of course, the reality isn’t always that interesting – so we reached out to some undead evading experts, and on what better day to do it than when The Walking Dead comes back to UK screens for the seventh season.
Pro finding professionals, Plentific, unveiled to UNILAD the top seven go-to’s if a zombie apocalypse is on the horizon:
#1 A Luxury Shelter
Though simply not an option for those of us who aren’t in the ‘mega-rich’ bracket, luxury shelters are indeed a reality for some. During the Cold War the wealthy built countless bunkers of utmost splender – putting the majority of hotels to shame.
One particular luxury shelter is the infamous ‘Vivos Europa One’. Vivos provide shelters designed to withstand ‘future disasters and life extinction catastrophes’. They include everything from gyms and swimming pools to wine cellars.
#2 Walled Cities
Once upon a time in the Middle Ages, walled cities were the go-to back when major cities across the globe required massive walls, armed with weaponry and guards, to ensure that the residents inside were safe from any dangerous outsiders who wanted to attack.
With massive walls already in place, could cities like York, Durham, and Chester be the go-to place when zombies attack?
#3 Remote Homes
This would probably be my preferred choice if zombies went ape-shit in the near future, however that isn’t to say it’s the best.
The thought of a toasty cabin in the woods, a million miles away from civilisation sounds pretty ideal in the midst of an apocalypse. So long as you’d stocked up on a life-supply of canned goods, you could cut firewood to burn, and plenty of remote homes are already fitted with solar panels, rainwater purifiers, and wood furnaces to make it possible to live far away from major cities for as long as necessary.
However, if the mutant zombies did catch you in the middle of nowhere then you’d be fucked essentially…
#4 Natural Defences
Nature is truly phenomenal and if you can manage to use it for your own benefit then there is no greater force.
As I’m sure you’re all aware, castles were built on high ground so that those guarding the castle could easily see any potential threats from a distance as they began to advance.
Taking things a step further, Mont Saint-Michel in Normandy is completely inaccessible by land when the tide comes in. If you could set up camp somewhere like this, the zombie threat would be much easier to control.
Now this is a game-changer. What better place to hide from zombies than a prison, a building developed entirely to contain those inside securely. An abandoned prison is the zombie apocalypse survivors wet dream – and somewhere like Alcatraz is their g-spot.
Over a mile out to sea, with thick and massively high walls topped with razor wire, hundreds of perimeter defences – Alcatraz was described as inescapable – by hiding inside, surely you could make the inescapable, inaccessible, if you took control.
As a result of man’s endless addiction to war, almost every country on the face of the Earth has thousands of old bunkers lying around. Although you might not know where to look – I assure you they’re there.
If you did a spot of research and found out what bunker-y treats your local town or city beholds then giving one a quick refurbish could turn it into an ideal place to wait for the zombie apocalypse to blow over.
#7 Homemade Shelters
Now for every paranoid apocalyptic conspirators favourite – the homemade shelter. What could be better than building a shelter in your own back yard. You could build it a few foot underground and stuff it with all the necessities you desire. The options are endless.
Don’t forget that they are, or at least can be, highly successful. Countless Britons survived German bombing raids during The Blitz by hiding out back in their own bomb shelters.
Let us know what you’d do above!
Joseph Loftus is a Gold Standard NCTJ journalist with four years experience working for international and regional press.
As well as working for UNILAD and LADbible, Joseph has worked as Liverpool Correspondent for Unsigned & Independent Magazine, as well as stints with the Liverpool Echo and Warrington Guardian.