Jeff Goldblum Analysing And Rating Jeff Goldblum Tattoos Is Incredible

by : Tom Percival on : 02 Nov 2017 19:35
20th Century Fox

Hollywood legend and all around cool guy, Jeff Goldblum, is a talented and widely respected actor, so of course it’s natural he’s got a few hardcore fans out there.


Now you may be thinking when I say ‘hardcore fans’ I mean people who own a Jeff Goldblum t-shirt or two, maybe they’ve even got a Dr Ian Malcolm action-figure stashed away in the attic and can quote all his lines from The Fly.

Well, I don’t mean these people!..


I mean the type of people who are willing to commit to a permanent tribute to their idol – people who get tattoos of his face, like Jed Maxwell infamously did in I’m Alan Partridge.


Thankfully Jeff’s been around the block a few times so he’s used to these displays of affection and GQ sat, the man himself, down to rate his likeness in ink.

Check out the video here:

As you can see, Jeff went into this thing completely blind so they could get his best reaction –  which was mixed to say the least.

The first tattoo showed him wearing a tattersall plaid shirt and chain – something he reacted quite viscerally to – complaining how as a man of fashion, he would never wear such a shirt.

He said:

What the heck is this? I’ve never seen this before in my life nor do I know this shot and I suspect it’s a mock up … [incoherent mumbling]… what’s that a… a… a tattersall shirt? I have strong feelings about fashion as you may or may not know?

And what’s this chain, this sort of rapper’s chain? I don’t know what they’re getting at there?

But I like it’s obtuseness and it’s darkness. I give it ten Goldblums out of a possible ten Goldblums.


From there, Jeff was mostly positive about the tattoos, even if he did object to the way he looked in a few of the more ‘choice ones’ shall we say.


As fun as the video is though, we believe we’ve hit on a much bigger scandal.

You see we were lucky enough to sit down with Jeff last month during the Thor: Ragnarok junket and we played a little game with him.

Watch it here:

[ooyala code=”tnN3A5ZDE62ALqv47H25cjN122TIpPua” player_id=”5df2ff5a35d24237905833bd032cd5d8″ auto=”true” width=”1000″ height=”1000″ pcode=”twa2oyOnjiGwU8-cvdRQbrVTiR2l”]

Now Jeff gave the lovely Mark a whopping ten Goldblums out of a possible ten Goldblums for his impression, a commendation I know Mark has since added to both his CV and LinkedIn.

But what if in truth Jeff simply gives ten out of ten to everything to placate journalists desperate for his validation?

I think we just blew the lid off the whole Hollywood press circuit!

Tom Percival

More of a concept than a journalist, Tom Percival was forged in the bowels of Salford University from which he emerged grasping a Masters in journalism. Since then his rise has been described by himself as ‘meteoric’ rising to the esteemed rank of Social Editor at UNILAD as well as working at the BBC, Manchester Evening News, and ITV. He credits his success to three core techniques, name repetition, personality mirroring, and never breaking off a handshake.

Topics: Celebrity, Viral Video


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    Jeff Goldblum Critiques Jeff Goldblum Tattoos | Tattoo Tour | GQ