Anecdotal evidence I have unwillingly amassed over the years suggests many men have fallen foul of urinal etiquette.
But here’s a story that will help mankind rest assured that magic can happen in the bloke’s toilets, particularly if you’re talented, rich and famous. Take Ed Sheeran, for example. When he walks into urinals, he befriends everyone’s favourite resurrected fictional character, Jon Snow.
Kit Harington, who plays Snow in Game of Thrones, told the story of their first meeting the clip below:
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Speaking on The Late, Late Show with James Corden, Kit said:
We had an odd first meeting. I was in a men’s urinal taking a piss. You know, sometimes a guy comes up to you and stands next to you and sort of does a double-take while you’re taking a piss.
And then he looks back forward and then he looks at your todger and then he looks back at you and says: ‘Are you Jon Snow?’
…That guy was Ed Sheeran.
As it turns out, the Sing singer seemed to like what he saw and the pair quickly struck up a friendship. Of all the urinals in all the world, who’d have thought Ed Sheeran would walk into one occupied by none other than the King in the North. It’s the stuff of Hollywood fantasy.
Later in the programme, Sheeran partook in Carpool Karaoke and recalled how he smacked his musical mate and colleague, Justin Bieber over the face with a golf club.
You can watch that glorious moment here:
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Watch the full Carpool Karaoke if you want to see Sheeran singing Love Yourself or hear his diatribe against social media and mobile phones.
In the meantime, the moral of the story here is to avoid urinals and golf courses frequented by Ed.
A former emo kid who talks too much about 8Chan meme culture, the Kardashian Klan, and how her smartphone is probably killing her. Francesca is a Cardiff University Journalism Masters grad who has done words for BBC, ELLE, The Debrief, DAZED, an art magazine you’ve never heard of and a feminist zine which never went to print.