Noel Edmonds, you crafty bugger. Who the hell do you think you are using secret code to make your feelings known to the outside world?
Alas, Edmonds does what he wants, playing by no campmate and producer’s rules, much to the delight of viewers.
You see, his sly way of talking to people outside the jungle is rather #romantic I guess and therefore not actually breaking the rules? Who knows.
Let me explain. On Friday night’s episode 69-year-old Noel got misty-eyed when a letter from his wife Elizabeth Davies was read out to him.
In it she said, ‘Love is a friendship set on fire and you are my eternal flame.’
Now an insider has told The Sun how Noel has managed to say hello to people not in spitting distance of a kangaroo’s bollock.
Noel said he was going to send out messages to Liz, telling her he loves her and how he’s doing. He has a secret code for that.
But he didn’t explain to anyone else how he would do that.
Erm… how about directly winking to camera and throwing a hooped OK sign? Hopping on his right leg to signify happiness and his left for discontent? Going into the hut and saying to camera, ‘Liz, I’m very happy here in the jungle’ or ‘Liz, thing’s aren’t going so well’?
He spoke of his wife prior to entering the jungle, revealing:
I have been asked to do Strictly. Liz is a fully-trained singer and dancer and a couple of years ago she said, “Why don’t we cheat? Why don’t we say you’re a novice and I’ll teach you before?”
Then I think there was one of those curse moments and I said to her, “Are you comfortable with me spending five or six days a week with a half-naked woman draped all over me?” And it’s funny how the conversation just changed.
It’s the longest Liz and I have ever been apart. They took my phone yesterday. I was able to phone her from the car at the airport.
I do a form of meditation every day anyway. People don’t get all this cosmic ordering but it is only prayer.
Edmonds joked about retiring the other day, saying it’d be a nice way for audiences to get back at him, even if it means him being crowned King of the Jungle.
After everything I have done with Gotchas and gunging, I am well aware they are going to put me through absolute hell and I deserve it!
I think the British public will enjoy seeing me finally getting my comeuppance! I just know they are going to really give me a hard time.
I am going to win because I promise the British public if they vote for me, I will retire from television and I will never appear again. There’s a deal that I am striking with the great British public who have supported me over the years – they make me ‘King of the Jungle’ and I will retire and never appear again!
We can dream!
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