Robert Pattinson’s ‘Fast Food’ Pasta Recipe Is Freaking People Out
Robert Pattinson has rattled foodies’ cages. Prepare to experience Piccolini Cuscino, his divisive ‘fast food’ pasta dish, far scarier than any villain in Batman’s Rogues Gallery.
The British actor is currently living in London with his girlfriend, under a sturdy meal plan from the nutritionists working on Matt Reeves’ The Batman. Transforming into the caped crusader requires strong meals – unfortunately, Pattinson’s prized recipe is the antithesis of eating well.
As he pottered around in his flat, the 33-year-old began a microwavable pasta voyage on YouTube. Days later, he conceived a fully-fledged meal that’s sent a shiver through the spines of readers everywhere.
In a recent interview with GQ, conducted over several days, the High Life star described his first attempts at microwaved pasta as ‘really actually quite revolting’, making him wonder: ‘Who would have thought that it actually makes it taste disgusting?’
One question drove Pattinson into the ether of cookery: ‘How do you make a pasta which you can hold in your hand?’ With this, he came up with a congealed, unfathomable pasta burger of-sorts.
As per the sights of GQ‘s Zach Baron, to create Piccolini Cuscino you’ll need:
One giant, filthy, dust-covered box of cornflakes. (‘I went to the shop, and they didn’t sell breadcrumbs. I’m like, ‘Oh, fuck it! I’m just getting cornflakes. That’s basically the same shit.’’)
One incredibly large novelty lighter. (‘I always liked the idea of doing a little flambé, like the brand name, with kind of burnt ends at the top.’)
Nine packs of pre-sliced cheese. (‘I got, like, nine packs of pre-sliced cheese.’)
Sauce. (Like a tomato sauce? ‘Just any sauce.’)
After microwaving pasta for eight minutes, equipped with latex gloves, he layered sugar and cheese on a sheet of aluminium foil. ‘It really needs a sugar crust,’ he said.
Then he added sauce, the possibly-cooked pasta and more sugar, before topping it all off with a hollowed-out bun with the initials ‘PC’ on top. After wrapping it all up and shoving it in the oven/microwave, causing it to somewhat explode and burning himself in the process, ba-da-bing! You’ve got yourself a Piccolini Cuscino.
The reaction online has sparked bemused, hilarious chaos. One user wrote: ‘This man is so unhinged it’s concerning sometimes.’ Another user commented: ‘Robert Pattinson attempting to make a congealed pasta pillow and causing his entire microwave explode in the middle of a GQ interview is so gorgeous to me… so poetic.’
Pattinson will play the titular hero in Reeves’ The Batman, set for release on October 1, 2021. However, he’s due to appear in Christopher Nolan’s Tenet, still slotted to hit cinemas on July 17 this year.
It’s like Alfred said: ‘Some men just want to watch the world burn.’
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