Here’s How Sofia Vergara Became The Highest Paid TV Actor Ever

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Sofia Vergara

Sofia Vergara must be pretty fucking wet, with all that rain she’s making. Luckily she can afford a rather nice umbrella.

Forbes has just named Vergara the highest paid Hollywood TV actress for the fifth year in a row, earning more than any of her male or female counterparts.

The Modern Family actress raked in a total of $43 million (£32.6 million), which is lucky because she’s got a pretty lavish lifestyle to fund.

Columbian-born Vergara has been the named the highest earning star of the small screen for five consecutive years, so the accolade is probably just a drop in her ocean of dollar bills. But mad props for helping to close up that gender pay gap, girl.

Vergara’s accountant should be happy to hear that the actress has upped her salary by $16.5 million this year alone, meaning a big fat bonus, we presume.

You want to know how she did it?

Jerry MaguireGIPHY

Turns out she sold her soul to the devil of sponsorship deals, not just once, but many times over.

Vergara is now the face of an alarming array of products, from coffee to anti-dandruff shampoo, Pepsi, furniture, Quaker Oats, CoverGirl make up, nurse scrubs and thyroid medicine… That’s one hell of a dinner party.

Vergara pipped other big earners like The Big Bang Theory‘s Kayley Cuoco who earned a pittance totalling $24.5 million. Third in the ranking is Mindy Kaling earned a meagre $15 million… How does she pay rent?!

Bridesmaids

Now, I’m no economics whizz but I’m betting Sofia’s doing alright on her acting salary – after all, she’s pretty good at it. But sadly, in our greedy capitalist society, it’s not quite enough for our rich and famous to be just rich and famous; instead, these people reach for wealth beyond contemplation. Like, we’re talking uber rich.

With all that money, she’ll be laughing all the way to the bank. Or paying her PA to laugh all the way to the bank on her behalf.

Or maybe she does it all online. Who cares? This is depressing. I’ve got a 75p sandwich to attend to.


Francesca Donovan

Francesca Donovan

A former emo kid who talks too much about 8Chan meme culture, the Kardashian Klan, and how her smartphone is probably killing her. Francesca is a Cardiff University Journalism Masters grad who has done words for BBC, ELLE, The Debrief, DAZED, an art magazine you've never heard of and a feminist zine which never went to print.