Stop the press! In fact, stop everything you’re doing, because someone had a haircut, some people questioned it, and now that person has changed their hair again.
I know! Front page news, people!
Hair. Most of us have it, and most of us have had it cut or restyled or changed to some degree at least once in our lives, because we’re human and these little things can make a big difference. The difference, in this case, is the person in question is rather well-known for their powerful hair, and they outrageously went and changed it without consulting the rest of us! The cheeky devil.
Steve. Steve from Stranger Things. Dad Steve. Steve ‘The Hair’ Stranger Things. Does he have an actual last name? Yes. It’s Hairington.
Anyway, a few days ago Steve Hairface made the audacious decision to cut off his iconic Stranger Things 80s bouffant hair. Why? Probably because it’s not the 80s and Stranger Things is over. He’s not even called Steve for Pete’s sake!
He’s actually called Joe Keery, and a few days ago Joe ‘Hairy’ Keery caused more outrage than New Coke (that’s an 80s joke for you Stranger Things fans) by cutting off his luxurious hair. Unless it was a wig and he just took the wig off finally. How disappointing would that be?!
Keery actually just had a chop, and went from his 80s bouffant to a 90s bowl cut, because if you’re not using your hair to document the decades are you even really living?
So Season 4 of Stranger Things will be about rescuing Steve Harrington’s hair from the upside down, got it. pic.twitter.com/U0ghUSomBd
— Adam B. Vary (@adambvary) September 15, 2019
— Alan Loughnane (@AlanLoughnane1) September 15, 2019
Sooo, Joe Keery (Steve Harrington from Stranger Things) got his hair cut, and I didn't think this picture would affect me as much as it does.. pic.twitter.com/3dGkvrmlun
— Chris Viola (@cbviola21) September 16, 2019
i woke up in such a good mood today, and then steve from stranger things had to cut off his beautiful hair.
— christo (@christobowman) September 14, 2019
— zaynabzulfiqar (@zaynabzulfiqar) September 17, 2019
However, some people really weren’t digging SteveJoe’s new hair. It was a kind of bowl cut with bangs type of situation, and a lot of people had serious concerns.
He may have just run out of product and decided to rock a new look, who knows.
To many people’s relief, it seems JoeHairSteve heard the internet’s outcry and its lament for his lovely locks, so he dashed out, grabbed some product and slapped it on his scalp. And now all is apparently right with the world. Which poses the question – would it help things if Bojo and The Donald started using the same hair products as The Steve?
Probably not. But for now we can once again curl up in Joe Steve The Hair From Stranger Things Keery Hairington III’s hair and pretend everything is ok.
If you have a hair story you want to tell send it to UNILAD via [email protected]
Charlie Cocksedge is a journalist at UNILAD. He graduated from the University of Manchester with an MA in Creative Writing, where he learnt how to write in the third person, before getting his NCTJ. His work has also appeared in such places as The Guardian, PN Review and the bin.