In case you missed it, Toys R Us is closing down and taking with it your childhood dreams, hopes and ambitions.
We thought the stalwart store would be with us for generations of capitalism to come. But, as ever, there was a select group of omnipotent animated scriptwriters who apparently called it before everyone else.
You guessed it. The Simpsons soothsayers predicted the closures before the company themselves, according to fans of the show on Twitter.
Simpson’s really predicted Toys R Us closing too pic.twitter.com/5IjrXumrcC
— ? (@JWepp) March 20, 2018
The Simpsons predicted Toys R Us would close. pic.twitter.com/D2negagjWR
— Markell Bailey (@tenorbuds) March 22, 2018
In the episode, titled Marge vs Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples and Teens, and Gays a group of childless adults set out destroying every child-friendly thing in the fictional town of Springfield.
The group trashes ball pits, burn ‘children at play’ signs and deface Toys R Us by turning the logo’s backward ‘R’ to the proper direction as kids stand outside the store in tears.
You can watch the destruction go down in this clip:
While the episode didn’t directly refer to the store’s financial crisis, some viewers have take the tear down as yet another accurate prediction from the writers.
Eerily it aired in 2004, a whole 14 years before the sad news broke stating Toys R Us had gone into liquidation, announcing last week in a bankruptcy filing that it was closing all of its 735 US stores as part of a liquidation.
It’s the store, without which, Toy Story would’ve flopped as the least relatable film in history:
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So, yesterday on March 22, the biggest ever in-store kids’ toy store sale started in the UK stores too, and it’s nowhere near as joyous an occasion as it sounds, even though discounts of up to 25 per cent are available on all products – including all big brand and Babies R Us products.
These hallowed aisles will be of commodification and consumption will be nothing more than a reminder of our own greedy childhood desires in a matter of time.
Barbie and Action Man will mourn, Lego Deathstars will go unbuilt, the Furbies will cry out for a new home and Care Bears will give up caring. If you’re into the humanisation of inanimate objects, that is.
Simon Thomas, joint administrator and partner at Moorfields Advisory Limited, said:
We’ve introduced heavy discounts across the entire Toys R Us store portfolio today.
Customers are encouraged to take advantage of these special offers as soon as possible, whilst stock levels are generally high.
Customers may find that the more popular brands begin to sell-out over the coming days.
There have been many sad moments for Toys"R"Us in recent weeks, and none more heartbreaking than today's news about the passing of our beloved founder, Charles Lazarus. Our thoughts and prayers are with Charles' family and loved ones.
— ToysRUs (@ToysRUs) March 22, 2018
In news making the closures even more devastating, Charles Lazarus, the founder of the first ever Toys R Us store, has died at the age of 94 as his empire faces bankruptcy.
In the US, where it all began in 1957, 144 stores began the liquidation process in February, but the remaining 700 stores make up one of the largest retail closures ever seen.
Over the pond in Britain, the closure plan puts 3,000 jobs at risk. Evidently, kids toys and capitalism just don’t go together like Buzz and Woody.
Yet, Toys R Us was every kid and collector’s dream, and you can see why:
Meanwhile, the internet will be right back as we collectively scour all of The Simpsons episodes in history. How do they do it?
If you have a toy story to tell, send it to UNILAD via [email protected]
A former emo kid who talks too much about 8Chan meme culture, the Kardashian Klan, and how her smartphone is probably killing her. Francesca is a Cardiff University Journalism Masters grad who has done words for BBC, ELLE, The Debrief, DAZED, an art magazine you’ve never heard of and a feminist zine which never went to print.