American Supermarket Claims It ‘Invented’ Sausage Rolls, World Disagrees

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In 1776 the U.S. threw off the shackles of British Imperial rule and became their own independent state.

Since casting off unfair taxation and British rule, the United States have risen to become the most powerful nation in the world, a democratic utopia that venerates the ideals of liberty and egalitarianism.

However while the States have undeniably done great things in the last few centuries have they ever considered what they lost when they booted the Red Coats out of their country?

File:Trader Joe's.JPGAnthony92931 via Wikimedia

Well the answer is apparently sausage rolls which according to one American supermarket has never been invented before.

Now as a proud member of these United Kingdoms I must protest, every British citizen worth their salt knows that the sausage roll was devised in France and became popular here during the Napoleonic Wars.

But Trader Joe’s in the U.S. has the audacity to claim that they invented the delicious puff pastry snack, which they’ve corrupted by filling with a hideous beef hot-dog sausage rather than god-given sausage meat.

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Trader Joe’s writes on it’s website: 

Hot dogs are, of course, typically served on a bun. Trader Joe’s Puff Dogs takes this classic dog-meets-dough pairing to the next level: each uncured, all-beef dog is instead swaddled in a perfectly flaky-when-cooked puff pastry.

We don’t mean to hot dog here, but this marriage of beefy and buttery is pretty genius.

Yes it is genius you pilfering swine, but you did’t invent it! Also beef hot dogs are German so you didn’t even invent the thing you’re ruining a classic sausage roll with!

The worst of this whole blighted situation has to be the name that the Americans have given their parody of sausage roll, they’ve called it a ‘puff dog’.

We’re not the only people who were outraged:

Mr Greggs is probably spinning in his presuambly pie shaped coffin.


Tom Percival

Tom Percival

More of a concept than a journalist, Tom Percival was forged in the bowels of Salford University from which he emerged grasping a Masters in journalism. Since then his rise has been described by himself as ‘meteoric’ rising to the esteemed rank of Social Editor at UNILAD as well as working at the BBC, Manchester Evening News, and ITV. He credits his success to three core techniques, name repetition, personality mirroring, and never breaking off a handshake.