There’s a brand new addition to the gingerbread family, and they’re due to be given a name all of their very own.
Differing from the cocky fairy tale character of olde, this grinning humanoid biscuit is not actually a man and neither is it a woman with icing sugar, eyelashes, and lippy.
This is a gender neutral gingerbread person, baked in the oven of inclusivity and sprinkled with a little community spirit.
The Co-op now want their shoppers to offer gender neutral name suggestions for this biped biscuit, which will reportedly sport a range of ‘seasonal costume refreshes’.
According to the Co-op website:
Our Food team is adding the final touches to a new Co-op gingerbread person, but they’ve yet to come up with a name.
They’d like members to join in and suggest a fitting name for our new little biscuity friend.
The plan is to give our new gingerbread fellow some seasonal costume refreshes – a distinctively Christmassy look for December and something rather spooky around Halloween for example. So they’ll need a name that works for any time of year.
Join in to suggest a name. Our Food team will create a shortlist of the ones they think will best fit the bill and we’ll be back to ask you to vote for your favourite next month.
They're actually trying to rename the gingerbread man #gingerbreadperson
— Dan Gilbert (@danjamesgilbert) April 10, 2019
Somewhat predictably, some peoples’ tweeting fingers have promptly exploded, expressing outrage towards this silent, smiling piece of confection.
One stern person barked:
Just felt the need to reiterate to the world, that this is a Gingerbread MAN. Nothing else, not a
Gingerbread person or any other ‘gender neutral’ term.
It is a Gingerbread Man. They always have been (from the 15th century) and always will be.
Wile another lamented:
I don’t want to live in this world anymore. I can’t handle this stupid shit. It’s a bloody gingerbread man for no reason at all, it’s what it always has been.
— Clair McDonald (@ClassicoDeCosta) August 10, 2018
It’s fair enough people are so passionate about honouring the rich heritage of disturbing folk tales and erm, the Shrek films, but maybe we should all just sit back and toast this tasty newbie with a nice cup of tea.
After all, none of us humans have cookie cutter identities and most of us take pride in our quirks and differences. Why shouldn’t our biscuit counterparts reflect this?
To be honest, my real issue with all this is, it’s kind of sadistic to name something you’ll eventually bite the head off with a single, pleasurable crunch. But you know, you do you.
You can pick a name for yourself here with the deadline being May 1, 2019.
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