Hands up, who here has ever gone to the workplace fridge to find their lunch/snacks/edibles have gone walkabout?
Pretty much everyone, I’d imagine. If the current state of a decade of suppressed wages has had a singular effect, ignoring the crippling debt, the constant state of misery many of us find ourselves in, the big one is we’re turning into nasty pieces of shit who eat each others lunches. Lead with that on Newsnight, Maitlis.
Personally, I’ve had food stolen from the fridge in my house, so this is a pretty loaded subject for me. In a world full of wolves, we need some kind of bigger wolf to catch the smaller wolf eating our lunch. We need hope. We need inspiration. We need karma.
You know how urban myths seem to permeate from school yard to school yard? I’m thinking there’s a possibility this story runs along the same lines as that. In the world of fake news it’s important to establish the truth.
At our school someone allegedly filled a teacher’s sandwich with dog shit – did the same rumour exist at your school? Seems frightfully close to an Offspring video to me… Anyway, the point is it’s quite hard to establish truth when there’s very little evidence to work with. Much like trying to figure out which chancer has taken your belongings from the communal workplace fridge.
This must have been the spot one Redditor in need of vengeance found themselves in when they discovered a colleague was stealing their Coffee Mate from the fridge.
Well, I say Coffee Mate.
The sticky fingered thief was in for a shock when owner of said Coffee Mate left a note explaining what an awful situation they’d found themselves in. The thief, that is, not the victim.
The note read:
To whomever has been enjoying my coffee creamer all week… Surprise!!!
You’ve been drinking my BREAST MILK
Hope you’ve enjoyed. Cheers! – B
P.s. It’s organic, so no worries.
You’ve got to wonder, though, what if the href=”https://www.reddit.com/r/Wellthatsucks/comments/avgb4i/shouldnt_have_used_her_coffee_creamer_i_guess/” target=”_blank” rel=”noopener”>milk thief knew it was breast milk all along?
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Tim Horner is a sub-editor at UNILAD. He graduated with a BA Journalism from University College Falmouth before most his colleagues were born. A previous editor of adult mags, he now enjoys bringing the tone down in the viral news sector.