Grim News, Bacon As Likely To Give You Cancer As Smoking
Just when you think the world couldn’t become a darker place, it turns out bacon is a lot worse for us than we thought, and could be as big a cancer threat as smoking, FFS.
The World Health Organisation will announce on Monday that processed meat is amongst the most deadly, the Daily Mail reports. Its findings come after scientists from 10 nations, including the UK (the bastards), reviewed all attainable evidence.
Bacon isn’t the only food on the chopping block, with burgers and sausages also apparently a massive threat to our health – like we didn’t already know that… Anything in moderation is surely fine, unless you’re trying to recreate an ungodly epic meal time creation of ‘bacon strips and bacon strips with added lard’.
The Mail reports that the WHO will rank processed meat in the top five most likely things to give humans cancers, among the likes of cigarettes and alcohol.
The announcement could even lead to warning labels on packs of bacon in our supermarkets similar to cigarettes. You can already imagine that this could be a slippery slope to where bacon is made illegal, a dystopian world where dealers are selling frazzles and crispy bacon bits to meat-deprived citizens on street corners. Maybe.
I blame David Cameron for the bad publicity of pork products.
R.I.P. bacon, weekend mornings wont ever be the same without you.