A husband came up with a cunning plot to stop his wife noticing he’d eaten all of her chocolates, but there were some fatal flaws in his plan.
I’m sure we’ve all experienced the devastation of returning home to find someone’s eaten the food you’ve been looking forward to all day. It’s a common occurrence in uni housing, but you’d think you’d be able to trust your other half not to touch your coveted snacks.
Unfortunately the wife of self-proclaimed ‘award losing stand up comedian’ Joe Heenan can’t rest assured in that knowledge.
The dad decided to tuck in to his wife’s box of chocolates, but rather than helping himself to just one or two, he polished off the whole lot, leaving his wife with a devastatingly empty tray.
It seems he knew he’d be in trouble, but rather than offering to replace the chocolates or simply apologising, he decided to try and hide the evidence.
Sharing his story to Twitter, Joe wrote:
Ate the rest of the wife’s chocolates so I covered my tracks by using brown sauce. I think I’ll get away with it.
Ate the rest of the wife’s chocolates so I covered my tracks by using brown sauce.
I think I’ll get away with it pic.twitter.com/KNXmlyLYQq
— joe heenan (@joeheenan) April 5, 2019
While the brown sauce might have been enough to fool the owner of the chocolates for a split second, the differences in structural integrity and taste between the two products would have quickly given the game away.
For one, brown sauce isn’t solid. As soon as the wife reached in to get one of the chocolates, she’d end up sinking her fingers into the sloppy, cold substance.
Even if she just assumed the chocolates had melted, the taste would raise alarms. Brown sauce is a good partner to a fry up; it’s definitely not a sweet treat.
Also, if Joe’s wife followed him on Twitter, she’d have immediately known what had happened. Basically I think the husband was just sorely mistaken in believing he’d get away with it.
But his followers were still impressed. Many praised him for the deceptive scheme, and others offered some advice to make the brown sauce even more convincing.
One person suggested:
Put it in the freezer for 5 mins an she’ll be none the wiser. (Unless she follows you)
While another commented:
Make sure you run when she takes a bite
Put it in the freezer for 5 mins an she'll be none the wiser. (Unless she follows you)
— Jushin Thunder Lager (@Comiskey1990) April 5, 2019
You could up your game and pop then in the freezer so it sets! 🤣… but make sure you run when she takes a bite
— Cheryl 👩🏼 (@clumsyoaf33) April 5, 2019
Hopefully we’ll get an update about the aftermath once Joe’s wife cottons on!
If you have a story you want to tell, send it to [email protected]
Emily Brown first began delivering important news stories aged just 13, when she launched her career with a paper round. She graduated with a BA Hons in English Language in the Media from Lancaster University, and went on to become a freelance writer and blogger. Emily contributed to The Sunday Times Travel Magazine and Student Problems before becoming a journalist at UNILAD, where she works on breaking news as well as longer form features.