After lovingly serving and photographing a light and healthy meal, there are some things you just don’t want to hear.
Unfortunately for one would-be Jamie Oliver, it’s not just his plates that have ended up getting absolutely rinsed.
An amateur chef known only as ‘Gary G’ made the bold decision to share his culinary creation with the infamously brutal foodie group Rate My Plate, apparently believing he had hit upon a stroke of genius.
Now, imagine you’ve just got in from work after a hard day. Your stomach is beginning to rumble and your thoughts have turned exclusively to what you can rustle up out of the fridge.
Would you – under any circumstances – decide the best way to fill your tum would be to wrap up a piece of ham inside a flaccid lettuce leaf and declare it to be a ‘carb free tea’?
Of course you wouldn’t. Look, I’ve been around the Slimming World roundabout many a time and have done some pretty mad crap along the way.
I’ve frozen yoghurt in ice cube trays to make ‘sweets’ and have roasted cauliflower to sate my crisp addiction. But, dear reader, Gary’s ‘carb free tea’ is where I draw a firm line in the sand.
I could of course get on board if this was lunch, a hurried meal at your desk or stuffed in your gob before you run to catch a train. But this is being billed as tea.
Tea time in my book should be a wonderfully comforting time of day; a time for warm, flavourful food which replenishes your energy and allows you to hop into bed happily. This meal is, if anything, the absolute antithesis of teatime.
It’s not clear at the time of writing whether or not Gary believed the good people of Rate My Plate would be left salivating at his dish, or whether this was some sort of elaborate ploy to get them choking on their dinners in horror.
If it was the latter, then his skills in causing absolute mayhem far outweigh his culinary abilities. Which, admittedly, isn’t saying much.
The reaction to Gary’s frustratingly simple ham and lettuce combo has been nothing short of deliciously harsh, with Rate My Plate members making an absolute salad out of Gary’s ‘sandwich’.
One person gagged:
Thanks Gary, can send this to my parents to show them something more disappointing than my life choices.
Carb free indeed. Also free from flavour, satisfaction and joy. I really hope this isn’t a microcosm of your life Gary.
Gary’s meal may have been devoid of flavour, but at least the comments section had plenty of spice…
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Jules studied English Literature with Creative Writing at Lancaster University before earning her masters in International Relations at Leiden University in The Netherlands (Hoi!). She then trained as a journalist through News Associates in Manchester. Jules has previously worked as a mental health blogger, copywriter and freelancer for various publications.