Human meat sounds quite delicious. A combination of pork, veal, and bacon according to anecdotes from cannibals of the past.
The flesh of a fellow human being is a red meat and in total the human body is carrying around 80,000 calories worth of meat and fat (mainly disgusting fats).
However don’t be persuaded by the tempting suggestion that man meat is what your full English was missing this morning. Human meat can be deadly.
According to a video posted by AsapSCIENCE, the conditions in which human meat is consumed are pivotal – and let’s face it, if you were going to eat the flesh of another person you’d have to be either deranged or forced to out of crippling stavation.
If human meat is not prepared properly the risk of contracting blood borne diseases such as hepititus and ebola are highly likely – but the biggest risk comes from prions.
Now, as the video explains, prions are a type of normal protein that has been altered and becomes infectious. Weirldy – they then begin to influence other healthy proteins and convince them to turn bad (think Bieber or Miley Cyrus).
Then the bad proteins not only cause infection but they also bring on a brain eating disease which results in – yep, you guessed it, death; and a pretty horrible one at that.
And the worst thing? Prions are essentially indestructible so if you gobble up any of them unexepectedly you are FUCKED.
Moral of the story – try and stick to bacon. Delicious, normal, pig flesh. Let that fill the gap without putting holes in your brain.
Joseph Loftus is a Gold Standard NCTJ journalist with four years experience working for international and regional press.
As well as working for UNILAD and LADbible, Joseph has worked as Liverpool Correspondent for Unsigned & Independent Magazine, as well as stints with the Liverpool Echo and Warrington Guardian.