First impressions count, so on a first date, it’s probably best to avoid massively fucking up. But sometimes things just don’t go to plan.
25-year-old singleton, Jonny Smith, found out the hard way. When Marilyn Monroe said, ‘some like it hot’, Jonny Smith knew that some others most certainly do not, reports the Mirror.
However, apparently ‘plain = lame’, so when Jonny took his 22-year-old Tinder date for a romantic dinner for two at his local Nando’s he came up with a masterplan.
To ‘look tough’ Jonny ordered a plain chicken, completely free from spice, but asked staff to stick an extra hot flag through his meal. Genius.
As the pair were waiting for their food and beginning to hit it off, the 25-year-old was ‘really talking up the extra hot chicken’. But as you can probably imagine, the masterplan came to a brutal and painful end far from what Jonny anticipated.
After devouring a couple of bites of what he thought was a plain old half chicken Jonny realised that this Nando’s was not going to be too cheeky.
Burning hot peri peri seeped onto his taste buds, crippling him.
It was after only a couple of mouthfuls that I realised something was up. I felt like my mouth was on fire. My eyes started watering and I couldn’t really speak. I wanted to spit it out but needed to save face so I carried on, trying to smile as I ate a few more mouthfuls.
She started laughing a bit at me so I explained that it was hotter than normal but I don’t think she really believed me.
Soon she stopped laughing though as I had tears rolling down my face. I think she was just embarrassed to have to sit with me.
He then excused himself and spent the next 15 minutes with his head under the cold water tap in the toilet.
Joseph Loftus is a Gold Standard NCTJ journalist with four years experience working for international and regional press.
As well as working for UNILAD and LADbible, Joseph has worked as Liverpool Correspondent for Unsigned & Independent Magazine, as well as stints with the Liverpool Echo and Warrington Guardian.