Your eyes do not deceive you – yes it’s a Bank Holiday and yes that’s two pints in one glass.
And you said there wasn’t a God!
This bank holiday, a pub in Essex has brought in this ingenious solution to one of life’s best problems: how to spend more time in a beer garden without having to waste time at the bar.
Let’s look at this beauty again. As soon as I’m done here, I’m getting the first flight down south. Obviously we should remind you at this point: please drink responsibly.
The Golden Fleece, in Chelmsford, posted on Thursday, (May 3), the news everyone in the south-east of England was waiting to hear:
What’s better than a pint? 2! Our new 2 pint glasses are now available.
According to EssexLive, a spokesperson said:
They are here for the summer and the World Cup, when we will be really busy and don’t have to miss any of the games.
World Cup? That’s ages away. It’s sunny right now. With temperatures exceeding the 20s this weekend, the Golden Fleece has timed their two-pinters perfectly.
Don’t believe me, here’s a pic taken from the Met Office page just minutes ago, (May 5):
Insert cliché line about some parts of Britain hitting temperatures higher than Mediterranean islands here.
And would you look at the beer garden at the Golden Fleece. It’s a thing of beauty. Oh how my heart sinks as folk across the British Isles lap up the sunshine and pints while I sit in a sweaty office in Manchester writing about everyone else enjoying themselves.
Two-pint glasses are scientifically proven to be a genius way of consuming beer while focusing on an equally important activity.
I present evidence – I had a massive beer at the Bernabeu on Tuesday night, (May 1) during the Champions League semi-final between Real Madrid and Bayern Munich. Both the beer and the football blew my tiny mind. Don’t know which impressed more tbh.
If you are a) not working and b) within at least 100 miles of Chelmsford, then get down to the Golden Fleece now.
What’s that? You need directions? Jesus, do you want me to hold your hand or something. Alright, here’s the info.
The Golden Fleece is on Duke Street and about a four minute walk from Chelmsford train station. Not even kidding.
Go then, enjoy the weather and the pints. You people make me sick.
If you want to discuss any issues relating to alcohol in confidence contact Drinkline on 0300 123 1110 for advice and support.
Tim Horner is a sub-editor at UNILAD. He graduated with a BA Journalism from University College Falmouth before most his colleagues were born. A previous editor of adult mags, he now enjoys bringing the tone down in the viral news sector.