Sacks Of Wet Eggs Are Being Sold At Morrisons And Everyone Is Baffled
Somewhere, in a cursed Morrisons supermarket, sacks of wet eggs are available to the public.
I have questions. I know I won’t get answers. Grocery store aisles are filled with hidden treats, wonders, ungodly drinks and snacks – wherever you shop, you’ll likely never fully explore its selection, like the vast, untapped world under the sea.
Picture the scene: you stroll into your local Morrisons to purchase a meal deal for your lunch. ‘Mmm,’ you say, perusing the sandwiches and wraps, the crisps and cakes, the juices and cans. Then, creeping into your vision from the lower shelf, you find a ginormous plastic bag filled with ‘wet eggs’.
The mere sight of it is enough to ruin someone’s day. I like eggs, most people enjoy eggs, but these aren’t normal eggs. Firstly, ‘wet eggs’ is a truly horrific distinction. Secondly, who are these loose, soaking eggs marketed at?
Twitter user @TrumpetSexy is responsible for photographing such a horrific delicacy, writing, ‘My local Morrison’s is selling actual sacks of wet eggs. This is the most wretched and cursed item I have ever witnessed.’
Since the post emerged online yesterday, September 16, the UK has been haunted and transfixed. The original tweet has racked up more than 110,000 likes, 19,000 retweets and thousands of replies. The sentiment of the majority: ‘The horror, the horror.’
One user wrote, ‘Why does it say 5 boiled eggs when clearly there are at least 20… why can I smell this through the screen….. why does the preservative look like urine?’
They continued, ‘Who drinks 50 boiled eggs for dinner.. what kind of creature would subject other living things.. to the after smell of themselves having guzzled 50 eggs… and egg wee… youd be a walking methane factory… a methane bus could literally refuel off of one persons waste after this.’
Another user commented, ‘Is it bad the one thing I am so bothered by is the sticker with 5 boiled eggs when there’s like 50 in the bag. Like what. Are you supposed to fish out only 5 boiled eggs??? Is the recommended serving size 5 boiled eggs??? Why are there so many boiled egg?’
James Felton wrote, ‘[throwing away all my dry eggs] I won’t be needing you any more.’ A fourth user suggested, ‘Buy them all. Release them into bathtub. Get into tub. Report back what super powers you gain.’
Dread it, run from it, you can’t escape the wet eggs.
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CreditsStrumpet (Sexy Trumpet)/Twitter
Strumpet (Sexy Trumpet)/Twitter