Mr John Garvin really took the piss when he was caught attempting to steal videogames from a Walmart the other day (February 13). Instead of taking his scuppered crime on the chin, he decided to compound matters by emptying his bladder on the floor.
Clearly a man of vision and class, Mr Garvin was accompanied by an unnamed woman when he tried to make off with $500 (about £350) worth of sweet, sweet games from the Walmart at Memorial Boulevard in Murfreesboro.
Alas, the heist of the century was foiled when a loss prevention officer caught them and escorted them to the office as they waited for the police to arrive.
It was at this point that Garvin lit up a cigarette (not okay) and took a dirty great piss on the floor (really not okay). He was later arrested for shoplifting and indecent exposure, and is due in court on April 28.
If this story carries any kind of moral, it’s that stealing is wrong, and that pissing your kecks in the super market is super wrong.