Red Dead Redemption 2 Will Have Realistic Horse Testicle Physics

by : Charlie Cocksedge on : 23 Sep 2018 16:55
red dead redemption 2 horsered dead redemption 2 horseRockstar

As the release of one of the most highly-anticipated games of the year draws near, one question that has definitely been on everyone’s lips has finally been answered.

Rockstar Games have been teasing fans for some time now with cinematic trailers and gameplay footage of Red Dead Redemption 2.


The game is out on October 26, where we’ll finally be able to see what Arthur Morgan and the Van der Linde gang get faced with in the new saga. And though the trailers have gone someway to satiate fans’ thirst for the game, one question has remained unanswered… until now.

That question is, obviously, what about the animals?! This game is set in the wild west after all, and animals – more specifically, horses – are crucial to the characters’ journeys.

In the wild west, the nights get cold. The men and women can put a coat on, but what about the poor horses? Well, if biology has taught us anything, it’s that animals have great survival techniques. Namely, how to keep your precious bits warm when it gets cold.


And thankfully, the creators of Red Dead Redemption 2 have factored this in to the game, as Rockstar Intel points out.

red dead redemption horse 2red dead redemption horse 2Rockstar

So let’s cut the bull. Yes, the horse’s testicles will be realistic.

But not only will they look realistic, this isn’t some two-bit arcade game we’re talking about here. The horses’ testicles will change size depending on the weather.


In other words – when it’s cold they’ll shrivel, and when it’s hot they’ll dangle proudly and, who knows, maybe even get a bit sweaty.

That’s not the only feature for the horses in the game, though. They will also poo, naturally, and you’ll be able to customise their look by cutting their manes, braiding their tails, naming them and teaching them tricks. Sounds like a game in itself, if you ask me.

The sequel to Red Dead Redemption was announced back in February this year, and sees the end of an eight-year wait for the follow-up, as the first game came out in 2010 for Playstation 3 and Xbox 360.


A press release at the time said:

We are excited to announce that Red Dead Redemption 2 will be released on October 26th 2018. We apologise to everyone disappointed by this delay. While we had hoped to have the game out sooner, we require a little extra time for polish.

We sincerely thank you for your patience and hope that when you get to play the game, you will agree the wait will have been worth it. In the meantime, please check out these screenshots from the game. We look forward to sharing a lot more information with you in the coming weeks.

The release and subsequent success of Red Dead Redemption in 2010 was a pivotal moment for Rockstar, as it proved once and for all they didn’t need to rely on the huge achievement of Grand Theft Auto to thrive as a company.


Now it seems they’ve applied the same level of detail and dedication to their next game.

Red Dead Redemption 2 will be released on October 26.

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Charlie Cocksedge

Charlie Cocksedge is a journalist and sub-editor at UNILAD. He graduated from the University of Manchester with an MA in Creative Writing, where he learnt how to write in the third person, before getting his NCTJ. His work has also appeared in such places as The Guardian, PN Review and the bin.

Topics: Gaming


Rockstar Intel
  1. Rockstar Intel

    Everything We Learned Today About Red Dead Redemption 2