I’m a firm believer that all creatures are created equal, but spiders are the exception to that rule. Spiders can get in the sea. They are literally nightmares on eight legs, put on Earth solely to scuttle around and keep me awake at night.
I have absolutely no idea why anyone would want a pet spider, or why anyone would want to ally themselves with the eight-legged hellbeasts in any way. Outside of inspiring Spider-Man, they’re good for nothing. I’m aware some people will argue that spiders are probably more scared of me than I am of them, but I would ask those people how many times a nightmare about me has woken a spider up in a cold sweat.
All of this is to say I can’t fathom why anybody would want to purchase themselves a computer mouse with an actual spider inside it, but clearly there’s an audience for it, as PCGamer has come across a company that makes just such a product. Look at it above. It even glows in the dark. Gross.
Assuming you have the stomach to sit and play PC games while the preserved corpse of an actual agent of Satan sits comfortably inside your mouse, then Realbug is a company you should check out. The good folk at Realbug make a variety of computer mice with creatures inside, including butterflies, scorpions, beetles, and centipedes.
I don’t know why you’d want any of those, expect maybe the butterfly, but clearly there’s an audience for it. There’s even one model that has a spider and a scorpion nestled inside, which honestly sounds like the worst possible gift anyone could ever give me outside of a new Coldplay album.
If you hadn’t guessed already, I’m an intense arachnophobe. A lot of people are scared of spiders, and rightly so – but I’m the kind of person who struggles to even look at a spider without feeling the urge to set myself on fire on the off-chance that one has somehow found its way upon my person.
Basically, I think it’s great that there’s a product for arachnophile PC gamers, but if I ever see one of these mice in real life, there’s a very good chance I’ll throw it out of the nearest window for fear that the spider inside will come back to life seeking revenge.
Keep. It. Away. From. me.
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Ewan Moore is a journalist at UNILAD Gaming who still quite hasn’t gotten out of his mid 00’s emo phase. After graduating from the University of Portsmouth in 2015 with a BA in Journalism & Media Studies (thanks for asking), he went on to do some freelance words for various places, including Kotaku, Den of Geek, and TheSixthAxis, before landing a full time gig at UNILAD in 2016.