There are some people out there who are so annoyingly good at video games that they make me want to give up forever, and Resident Evil 7 is just another game that invites such feelings of inadequacy.
YouTuber Quizzle just finished the latest Resident Evil in three and a half hours on the hardest difficulty – Madhouse – using nothing but a crappy knife, and the skills presumably instilled within him by sorcery at birth.
Check it out below, and bask in the knowledge that you’ll never be that good at Resident Evil 7.
I wouldn’t have ever advised bringing a pocket knife to a chainsaw fight, to be honest, but apparently with a little tenacity and a flagrant disregard for the safety of your limbs, it’s a technique that eventually wins the day.
For me, Resident Evil is all about pissing away every ounce of ammo I can find in a mad bid to keep as much distance between myself and the biologically altered monsters.
Using a knife means getting up close and personal with the freakish residents of the Baker house, and that’s something I never want to do unless I absolutely have to.
For now, Quizzle seems to have the most impressive Resident Evil 7 speedrun in the bag – but it won’t be long before some kid somewhere beats in two hours using only a kettle and some string.
Ewan Moore is a journalist at UNILAD Gaming who still quite hasn’t gotten out of his mid 00’s emo phase. After graduating from the University of Portsmouth in 2015 with a BA in Journalism & Media Studies (thanks for asking), he went on to do some freelance words for various places, including Kotaku, Den of Geek, and TheSixthAxis, before landing a full time gig at UNILAD in 2016.