Every now and again, a photo app like Snapchat, Instagram, or FaceApp will release a new filter or feature that allows us to twist our appearances for the purposes of poops and giggles.
These days you can use such tools to do all manner of things to your face, and it’s a welcome distraction from the ills of the world. Society as we know it might be slowly crumbling away like wet cake, but at least I can throw on some cat ears and make my eyes sparkle like an anime character. At least there’s that.
The latest viral craze to spring from FaceApp shows users what they might look like 50 years in the future, assuming we aren’t all killed in a nuclear war, or invaded by the aliens that get released from Area 51, or manage to destroy the planet in some other way in that time.
Given that there’s clearly no point in trying to resist our new FaceApp overlords, I decided to see what some of gaming’s most well-known faces would look like aged up, because “older” doesn’t seem to be a suitable answer anymore.
Let’s start with Atreus from God of War, because he looks like the kind of 67 year old bloke you still in the mosh pits at local punk shows who loses his mind when the band covers anything by Misfits, and I’m into that.
Next up we have old man Michael from GTA V, who looks like a cross between Bradley Walsh and David Bradley. He’s followed by his old (emphasis on old) friends, Trevor and Franklin. The latter, it has to be said, is keeping it pretty tight. Trevor on the other hand, looks like he gave up on making it to the bathroom as soon as he turned 45.
Following the above triumvirate of senior criminals, we have Nathan Drake, who has aged like a particularly fine wine. I’d call him grandaddy any day, if you catch my drift.
Speaking of silver foxes, Geralt is no longer one in the future, apparently. I’m assuming Yennefer has long since packed an “overnight” bag to go stay at her mums.
Old Lara Croft looks like a cool great aunt that always goes on long adventures and always smells of those funny cigarettes she smokes at Christmas.
I realise I have no way of proving this, but please believe when I say aged-up Max from Life is Strange looks exactly like the teacher I had back when I was in year two. She sent me out once because my friend burped- true story. Still reeling at the injustice of it.
We saw Ellie as a kid in the first The Last of Us, and Part 2 will have us play as a slightly older version of the character. Is the below a glimpse at Ellie in The Last of Us Part 4? I like to think so.
Finally, this is what Arthur Morgan would’ve looked like if he’d actually made it out of America and managed to live to an old age instead of being hunted like a dog before dying a tragic, inevitable death.
Thought I’d save the happiest one for last. You’re welcome.
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Ewan Moore is a journalist at UNILAD Gaming who still quite hasn’t gotten out of his mid 00’s emo phase. After graduating from the University of Portsmouth in 2015 with a BA in Journalism & Media Studies (thanks for asking), he went on to do some freelance words for various places, including Kotaku, Den of Geek, and TheSixthAxis, before landing a full time gig at UNILAD in 2016.