‘Avocado Hand’ Is The New Middle Class Injury Sweeping The Nation

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I don’t like avocados. They’re bland, mushy and, as it happens, really really dangerous.

That’s right, according to the British Society for Surgery of the Hand, the rise in avocado related injuries has sky rocketed over the past few months.

With every fitness and lifestyle blogger advoacting (avocating?) the health benefits of avocado, wannabe health freaks have been jumping on the avo-hype.

avocado handInstagram/jrolph4646

They’ve also been really really stupid and used ridiculously sharp knives to cut through possibly the softest fruit ever.

With knives going straight through the avocado like a knife through well, avocado, hands holding the fruit are pretty vulnerable and in numerous cases have been wounded.

Personally, I think that this is just some form of Darwinian natural selection in action, but Simon Eccles, honorary secretary of the British Association of Plastic, Reconstructive and Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons, thinks that this is a genuine problem.

avocado handInstagram/ pastortimlucas

Eccles told The Times:

Recently the health benefits of avocado have been advocated, with an increase in their popularity – and a consequent increase in related injuries.

It needs to be recognisable. Perhaps we could have a cartoon picture of an avocado with a knife, and a big red cross going through it?

He apparently sees FOUR patients a week with avocado hand. FOUR. A WEEK. Really?

Apparently this epidemic has spread so far that even Meryl Streep has been afflicted. Someone hide her now.

Suddenly the healthy vegan lifestyle doesn’t seem as attractive.

There you have it- avocado hand. Stay safe out there guys.