Josh Brolin Tried Perineum Sunning And Burned His Anus
Sunbathing has always come with its perils, whether it’s because you fell asleep and turned into a lobster or because you trusted your mates with the sun cream and they managed to burn a giant dick onto your back.
Now though, there’s an entirely different danger associated with catching the sun, and it has something to do with the state of your anus. More specifically, the extremely burnt state of your anus after you’ve participated in the brand new trend doing the rounds, ‘perineum sunning’.
Actor Josh Brolin (Deadpool 2, The Goonies, Avengers: Endgame) took to social media over the weekend to share his experience with the latest trend, and let’s just say it didn’t end particularly well for him.
If you haven’t heard of perineum sunning, let me do the honours and bring you up to date. The strange practice came to our attention earlier this month, when influencer Metaphysical Meagan revealed it had improved her well-being in numerous ways, including: aiding a healthy libido and balanced sexual energy; and increasing creativity and creative output.
Her argument was a somewhat convincing one, leading others (including – apparently – Brolin) to try it for themselves. However, the 51-year-old actor was in for a nasty surprise as the entire thing ended in disaster.
Addressing his 2.8 million Instagram followers, and using the photo from Meagan’s original post, Brolin wrote:
Tried this perineum sunning that I’ve been hearing about and my suggestion is DO NOT do it as long as I did. My pucker hole is crazy burned and I was going to spend the day shopping with my family and instead I’m icing and using aloe and burn creams because of the severity of the pain.
I don’t know who the fuck thought of this stupid shit but fuck you nonetheless. Seriously. #blackholefriday #blackholesun #severeperineumburns #santamonicafiredepartment #assholecare
Yikes. Perhaps we shouldn’t be too surprised that Brolin’s attempt at perineum sunning ended so badly as doctors had previously warned against it, saying it increases the risk of skin cancer.
Prominent gynaecologist Dr Jennifer Gunter, the author of The Vagina Bible, came forward with claims that the practice could result in an increased risk of skin cancer on the vulva in women.
Dr Gunter wrote on Twitter:
I feel confident when I say the anus and perineum have no special sunlight concentrating abilities. You can get melanoma on the vulva and sunburns there are very painful.
So next time you fancy catching a bit of sun on your bits, maybe just… don’t.
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