Disgraced former singer, Rolf Harris, who was sentenced to five years, nine months for the abuse of four young girls, is currently revolting his prison friends and for the most disgusting reason – his endless farts.
In a vomit inducing turn of events, Rolf’s chronic and eternal flatulence is the end result of years of medical issues and unhealthy eating habits.
Apparently the 86-year-old glutton, who was once an OA and a CBE holder, spends his time in prison shovelling in a constant flurry of curries, which he follows up with copious bars of chocolate, reports The Sun.
As you can probably imagine, such a gargantuan stream of food results in quite a fair bit of gas – leading cell mates and prison pals at Stafford Prison to compare his scent to that of an ‘abattoir’, complaining about an evident whiff on his wing.
One family friend said:
Rolf’s flatulence has got really bad. His inmates are always complaining about him.
If it’s starting to smell a bit like the drains have gone off you can always bet that it’s Rolf who’s behind it.
It gets particularly worse whenever he’s had a curry, there’s no denying that, and Rolf really is fond of his curries. But the after effects, good God, it’s not pretty.
He eats tons of curries and even follows it all up with a bar of chocolate or two.
Harris was sentenced to five years and nine months for 12 indecent assaults between 1968 and 1986.
Joseph Loftus is a Gold Standard NCTJ journalist with four years experience working for international and regional press.
As well as working for UNILAD and LADbible, Joseph has worked as Liverpool Correspondent for Unsigned & Independent Magazine, as well as stints with the Liverpool Echo and Warrington Guardian.