When I think of vile public toilets I think of one in particular: ‘The worst toilet in Scotland’.
To any Trainspotting fans out there, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. The grimiest, filthiest, shit smeared excrement trough around – but when you’ve gotta go, you’ve gotta go, according to The Sun.
Now I’m not the sort of person who’d coat a toilet seat in toilet paper out of fear of touching the same seat as somebody else’s arse, but there’s millions of people out there who do.
You probably do it to be more hygienic, to lessen your chance of touching or catching something nasty – but ironically, it’s actually more dangerous to sit on a toilet paper covered seat, than just a plain old dirty one.
Why’s that, I hear you ask. That’s because toilet seats are designed to prevent dangerous bacteria spreading, whereas toilet paper is designed to pick it up.
Dr William Schaffer, a professor of preventative medicine, said:
That’s because toilet seats are not a vehicle for the transmission of any infectious agents – you won’t catch anything.
It’s pretty simple if you think about it. Only a few people grab hold of the toilet seat with their bare hands, but everybody reaches out desperately for the bog roll after they’ve deposited what once was a greasy lunch.
And every-time you flush the toilet, germs and faecal matter spray a good few feet in the air coating everything in nasty bacteria – including the loo roll, so by sitting on the loo roll you’re sitting right on top of all of these germs. Lovely.
Another thing worth mentioning is that your skin is a natural form of protection against bacteria and germs so there’s really no need to try and prevent it further.
So there you have it – next time, sit freely on that bowl and let your bare arse caress that filthy seat.
Joseph Loftus is a Gold Standard NCTJ journalist with four years experience working for international and regional press.
As well as working for UNILAD and LADbible, Joseph has worked as Liverpool Correspondent for Unsigned & Independent Magazine, as well as stints with the Liverpool Echo and Warrington Guardian.