With Christmas right around the corner – 10 days, but who’s counting – it’s a special time of year where we tend to buy our family, friends, or significant other, special and thoughtful gifts.
But instead of the usual presents we so often purchase – underwear, jewellery, perfume/aftershave – why not take it one step further this year with something truly, deeply, personal? Literally.
No, I’m not talking about a photo, or a handwritten poem, or even some form of personalised clothing, think more along the lines of a mould of where the sun don’t shine.
I’m talking about a mould of your bumhole, because…Well, I’m still trying to get my head around this one.
Ok, so maybe not the type of gift you’ll be giving to your family, but it would make a hilarious Secret Santa gift for a colleague in the office – lightbulb moment – or perhaps a partner who’s got a strong liking for that particular part of your anatomy?
Because what better way to tell/show someone how you much you love them, than with a replica of your anus.
Thanks to the London-based company, Edible Anus – ‘the anus that made Britain great’ as they state on their website – your chocolate starfish dreams are now a reality.
After an interesting conversation over the phone, Edible Anus told UNILAD:
We currently don’t make edible personalised moulds – we’re still selling them based on the original cast – but we can make bespoke creations out of materials including metal. It’s very expensive to do with chocolate.
Interestingly, we get a lot of enquiries from people based in the United States – more so than people here in the UK.
Of the future for Edible anus, they said:
Kits will be available next year in order for you to make a cast at home, before sending them back to us where we can them turn them into moulds.
At the moment, we’ve only done a few demo kits, but they will be available in 2019. They won’t be too expensive either, roughly around the £15 mark.
Speaking about the busy festive period, Edible Anus told UNILAD:
Christmas is our season – along with Valentine’s Day – the demand for the chocolate soars at these times of the year.
We’ve ran out of stock so unfortunately, customers overseas and in the US won’t be able to put an order in which will be ready for Christmas, but for UK customers, stock will be available again from Monday (December 17), so you’ll have time if you’re after a Christmas present.
Well there you go – if you’re based in the UK and want a pretty personal gift, you’re covered.
However, £450 is what it’ll set you back for a ‘solid bronze limited edition anus’ – probably a bit too expensive for your Secret Santa gifts, but the chocolates are far more reasonable, coming in at £20 for a five pack bundle.
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Now, if you’re wondering where the original cast came from, or more to the point, who’s it actually is, then listen up.
According to Munchies, after failing at attempts to make a mould from his own anus, London artist Magnus Irvin, enlisted the help of a woman he met at a bus stop, who – for a reason I’m still trying to figure out – let him cast hers.
Then, in 2006, after creating an exhibition of multi-coloured anuses, he was approached by businessman Michael Ritzema. The pair are then said to have struck a deal and the anus-shaped chocolates went into manufacture. The rest, as they say, is history.
So there you have it! For now, chow down on a stranger’s anus, or simply bask in the glory of your own bronze beauty! Happy Christmas everyone!
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A sports enthusiast with a BA (Hons) in Sports Journalism, who can be found predominantly at Villa Park. Having completed a Masters in Broadcast Journalism, she then went on to work at Sky Sports, the BBC, and the Mirror. When not engrossed in sport, it’s animals, guitars, and Liam Gallagher which take main focus.