Holy mother of God, there seems to be a job out there I’m finally qualified for.
A sleep solutions startup in India is looking for interns, all you have to do is sleep and they’ll even pay you to do it.
Wakefit is looking for the soundest sleepers and those who can switch off from work when they put their head down are at a sleepy head start.
For nine hours sleep a day for 100 days, Wakefit is offering ₹1 lakh (£1,078) and I’m really compromised about telling you more about this opportunity because this job is mine.
Chaitanya Ramalingegowda, director and co-founder of Wakefit, said:
We are looking to recruit the best sleepers in the country who are willing to go to any lengths to make sleep a priority in their lives. The Sleep Internship initiative aims to bring back the focus of sleep health by celebrating and applauding people who obsess about sleeping well.
Does their ideal candidate sound like you?
Those who can thrive in a slow paced environment, conceptualise and deliver effective strategies on how to get themselves and their team members to sleep deeper and longer. Demonstrated affinity to cosy environments, napping, lazing and lounging will be a bonus.
Sounds like me.
However, there are some basic qualifications for the role:
• A completed degree in any field. A history of falling asleep during class will be counted as relevant experience.
• We are seeking sleepy self-starters who are motivated enough to stay in bed for at least 8 hours of solid sleep.
• Should be able to fall asleep within 10-20 minutes of hitting the pillow.
• Strong knowledge and a distinctive point of view on sleep products and how they contribute to better sleep.
• Should demonstrate qualities of a team player, when the team is likely to miss their bedtime or likely to indulge in activities that discourage sleep.
• Past Experience in sleeping in any kind of environment – irrespective of noise and brightness levels.
• A focused and disciplined approach to record and analyse personal sleeping patterns.
• Demonstrated track record of prioritising sleep over social media.
• Attention to detail and a passion for clean bedsheets, cosy blankets and funky pajamas.
Not too fussed about the PJ thing but yeah, go on, I’m still interested.
The preferred qualifications is where employers sort the wheat from the chaff so if you find yourself glued to your phone, you may want to work on cutting down your scroll.
• Ability to adhere to strict guidelines of consumption of caffeinated beverages. We prefer candidates who have a taste for Chamomile.
• Binge watchers and people with nocturnal tendencies will be at a disadvantage.
• A low engagement and low activity on personal social media handles is a bonus.
• An innate ability to be laid back and stress free before bedtime.
Oh, there’s more:
• Snoring will be considered a disadvantage to securing this position.
• Lack of interest in content created by major streaming websites.
• Alarm snoozers, abilities to sleep through multiple alarms, etc. are preferred.
• A low screen time will be your biggest asset. The ideal candidate is one who has the ability to blissfully ignore phone notifications at night.
• An active interest in meditative sleep techniques.
• An in depth knowledge on the lyrics and tunes of lullabies. Good singing ability is a plus. Knowledge of vernacular lullabies is preferred, but not mandatory.
As well as offering unbelievable employment opportunities, Wakefit has also been advocating for all offices in India to install nap rooms, after they found in a study 86% of Indians would be more productive with one.
This and the four-day week Microsoft experimented, I need to have a quiet word with my boss.
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Tim Horner is a sub-editor at UNILAD. He graduated with a BA Journalism from University College Falmouth before most his colleagues were born. A previous editor of adult mags, he now enjoys bringing the tone down in the viral news sector.